To the People Who've Had Their Pain Invalidated by Others
This piece was written by Nadine Hocson, a Thought Catalog contributor.
Your pain is valid.
This is a reminder that whatever you’re feeling right now is OK. It’s OK to feel mad, or to be hurt. It’s alright to embrace the pain, because the only way you’ll get over it is if you go through it.
I’m writing this for myself, and for everyone else who feels like their pain is being invalidated by the people around them. This is me telling you that you should not be ashamed of what you’re feeling. You should not be judged by the way you’re hurting. No one can tell you what you should and shouldn’t feel. No one can tell you how you should be hurting or healing.
Pain is immeasurable. One can’t say that someone else’s pain is lighter or heavier than the pain you’re feeling because you’re not feeling the same pain. Each pain has its own identity, and each pain is substantial.
I have learned to no longer be afraid of pain. I’m not scared to get hurt anymore because I realized that accepting your weakness is important in discovering your strength.
And maybe this is a time for you to realize that you should not be ashamed of being weak.
You do not need to act strong during the times that you are your weakest. You do not need to refuse help because you’ll need all the help you can get. You do not need to push people away, because this is a time when you need that cares for you to stay.
But you also need yourself. You have to find it in you, the strength to carry on, the determination to move forward and the heart to forgive.
From where you stand, happiness seems to be far but with every step that you take, it becomes nearer and you see it clearer every day.
It’s time to accept that you’re hurting and start the healing. Sooner or later, you’ll be OK.
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Thinkstock photo via Rively