My Son's Name Is Sam

Our third son died in 2009. For some, his name was Sam. For us, his name is Sam. He didn’t stop being a member of our family just because he died. Sam is still our precious third son and beloved sibling to our other children.

His younger sister never got to meet Sam here on earth, but she still loves him. She likes to sit with me and look through our photo albums. When she wants to play, she will carry his urn with her throughout the house. When she wants to sit and watch a show with him, she will snuggle up and cover them with a blanket. Sam is her sibling and she is very much aware of this.

I was shocked when I was asked for family pictures last week and was reminded to include Sam. This beautiful soul never met Sam and only knows him through pictures and stories, but she acknowledged he existed and was still part of our family.

As the shock of someone remembering Sam wore off, I became more and more upset. How dare the world I live in forget my child and expect me to do the same just because he died?

Unfortunately, it seems that some people believe that when your child dies, they stop existing. When that same someone has a mother or cousin die, do they pretend that the person never existed? No, they don’t. Why should it be any different for those of us who have lost a child, infant or even a pregnancy?

Thank you, Jessie. Thank you for reminding the world that Sam existed and is an integral part of our family. Thank you for allowing me to share him with you. Thank you for remembering.

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