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The Musician Who Made My Stay in a Psychiatric Hospital Tolerable

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To the artist who made my stay in a psychiatric hospital tolerable, thank you. 

The day I was admitted was a sad day and one of the worst days of my life. During my drive in I listened to Regina Spektor all day and took her words in. I was scared, devastated, confused, hurt and sad. If you have a favorite singer/band, it’s amazing how much comfort you can find in their voices.

Twenty-one long, lonely, tiring, emotionally exhausting days. The one true thing that brought me comfort was Regina.

I found so much peace in her soft voice. I would have the nurses station put on her Pandora station and I would sit in my room with the speaker and feel a sense of calmness. I was going to be OK and I will get better.

The number one song that stuck out to me was “Hero.” There’s a lyric that says, “I’m the hero of the story, don’t need to be saved.” 

I longed to be my hero and in that moment I did need saving. I found strength and wisdom in the song. It was OK that I wasn’t my hero at that time and I needed to be saved. Here I am seven months later still struggling, still listening to Regina every day, finding new wisdom in her words, but now seeing myself as my own hero. How? I went and got myself admitted, I go to therapy once a week, I am in a support group. I’m choosing to get myself help and fix myself. Is it easy? Hell no. But with my support, the lovely vocals of Ms. Spektor, I can get through this. I won’t need to be saved anymore and I am my hero.

Thank you Regina Spektor for saving my life.

Listen closely to to your favorite band/artist. They may have the deepest affect on you and your mental health. Music is my cure.

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Lead photo via Regina Spektor’s Facebook page

Originally published: October 18, 2017
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