Putting Myself Out There as a Person With Autism


I’m in my 20’s and I have autism. I always feared rejection when I went out to do activities. I was so afraid to be judged for who I was. Although I felt I was a nice guy, I would rather stay home and not go out and do activities. I never minded going out to eat or to work, but never wanted to do anything else. I always feared I wouldn’t be good at doing activities out in the community. I would feel like I was embarrassing myself when I went to do them. I would do them once and never go back because I would feel no one liked me when I went.

I always wanted friends and a girlfriend. I tried to meet people online as I felt that was the only way. I wasn’t too successful. I had a lot going for me, so I decided online dating was something I didn’t need to do anymore. So one day I decided to do something I never done before. I had to step out of my comfort zone and let people find out for themselves who I really am as a person — autism or not. I had to get the confidence to feel that way, and that took time. It took a lot of courage, but I had to do it. I put myself out there.

I joined a Toastmasters club and took dance lessons. I also joined bowling leagues and other things. Everyone loved me as I continued to go to those activities. In my experience, people will admire you if you feel good about yourself when you’re out there doing things. But when putting yourself out there, do things you want to do. Don’t put yourself out there just to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like going to bars, don’t do that. I don’t always like bars myself. If you’re doing things out there for you, people will love you more. Trust me, I tried to be someone I’m not just to impress people and it never worked.

Don’t fear rejection or being judged. Put yourself out there and be yourself. They’ll see you for who you are. Treat people the way you want to be treated too. Keep going once you start activities as well. You’ll make more friends that way, and people will love you more and more each day.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Getty image by Nomadsoul1.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Asperger's Syndrome

Small pink gift box on edge of table.

My Tips for Surviving the Holidays With Asperger's and Fibromyalgia

Holidays at this time of year are difficult for me as someone with Asperger’s syndrome, fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. The weather, social situations and money all play a part in making the holidays hard, and I will try to explain each of these aspects further here. The Weather As someone with Asperger’s syndrome I actually [...]

How My Son's Differences Define What Courage Is to Me

Courage. Such a powerful word. So difficult to truly describe. Tomorrow I have to go to my daughter’s class and discuss what courage is. We have different examples and have been instructed as parents to provide the accepted examples: firemen, policemen, superheroes. And yet, as I sit here on my plane ride home from a [...]
Woman with hands cupped in sunlight.

What People Don't See About My Asperger's Syndrome

When people look at me, they don’t know what’s hidden behind my face. They don’t know I have Asperger’s, and they don’t know this makes me feel different. This diagnosis is real, and for me, it’s recent. I feel like the world should know I’m still the same person I was before. I see things [...]
Girl doing school work and teacher at eye level helping

6 Things My Child’s Teacher Needs to Know About Working With My Child With a Disability

The beginning of a new school year has arrived. Teachers’ rooms will be filled with students, perhaps many they have never met. For parents, it may mean entrusting your beloved child with a teacher who is, in effect, a stranger. This can be one of the most stressful experiences I have as a parent of [...]