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If You Want There to Be a Limit on Pain Medication

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Chronic pain is laying in bed at 3 in the morning unable to sleep, and unable to leave bed.

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It’s a dislocated shoulder numbing your fingers. It’s waiting for the time you can take a pain medication  – not for a high, but so it doesn’t feel like someone ripped you ankle apart.

It’s sleepless nights. It’s braces everywhere. It’s physical therapy appointments. It’s a service dog not working, and a pet not getting a walk.

It’s thinking about college classes, doctor’s appointments and work.

It’s dragging yourself over snow drifts.

It’s missing out on things you love.

It’s worrying about the future, wanting a break from the present and wishing for the past.

It’s tears.

It’s wheelchairs.

It’s explaining to those you know.

It’s answering the question, “Why did you use a wheelchair yesterday and not today?”

It’s getting told, “Well, you don’t look sick.”

It’s planning your days out ahead.

It’s planning rest days.

It’s not going on roller coasters.

It’s wondering what if.

It’s setting aside even thinking about having children.

It’s all your failed dreams and wishes in one nasty dragon. With no sword to fight it.

It’s a puppy sighing in her crate.

It’s tears on your cheek.

It’s the joy of finding people who understand.

Chronic pain is my life, it has infected everything that is me. It’s a giant I can’t kill. It’s a unbroken horse. It’s unbeatable and unforgettable. My pain meds don’t cure me, or fix me, but they give me the ability to have something that can sometimes compare to a normal life. I don’t need pain acceptance. I have accepted my pain long ago, without management I will never leave the house and have no quality of life.

When you vote on limiting pain medication think of those of us who struggle with chronic pain. Think of those of us who just want something like you. I am not a drug addict. I am chronic pain patient who just wants to live.

Getty image by AntonioGuillem

Originally published: February 15, 2018
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