When Every Day Feels Like a Really Long Day With Depression
Have you ever had a really long day, your body aches, you can’t keep your eyes open and you are drifting in and out of consciousness while you try to relax in front of the TV?
For some people who struggle with depression, like me, every day feels like a really long day. I will wake up tired every morning, even with 10 hours of sleep, feeling like I never slept at all. Simple tasks can exhaust me; cleaning will wipe me out, walking feels like going up a mountain, work and education goes over my head and leaves my mind in a muddle.
Generally, I feel like I ache all over; the slouched shoulders, legs that don’t want to work and a mentality that I want to curl up into bed and never move again. It is not easy to always feel tired, especially when medically speaking there is no cause in my case, however, I do try to do what I can to continue with life.
I have to ensure I never plan anything in the morning, I just can’t function unless I allow my body to adjust to the new day and drink that wonderful first cup of coffee. It is shocking how many people judge me for this and give blank expressions when I try to explain.
If I travel I need to make sure to have caffeine and snacks on me to avoid falling asleep, I almost always have to stay in a city or town overnight if it is more than an hour away. It’s a battle when you want to lose weight but need energy to function.
I have to end my own social events early and leave party’s before I fall asleep; it makes me look like I am boring and old, but honestly I can’t deprive myself of sleep when I need it, it is hard enough as it is to sleep in the first place. I have lost count of the times I’ve been called a
“party pooper” or boring.
Exercising for me is hit or miss; some sports like swimming or badminton I can do for hours, but long walks, running or any long workouts without stimulation cause me a problem. Not only will I find myself tired, I also end up feeling sick and dizzy.
I may be 22, but I have to listen to what my body needs. I need lots of rest and to ease myself into things, making little steps each day and making sure I do not overwhelm or overwork myself. It may not be the ideal situation as my peers are out partying and working without a flinch, but we can’t all be like that. I have learned to stop comparing myself to others and be true to myself.
So if someone seems tired, lazy or absent, there may be more to it. Some physical health conditions can cause exhaustion, but mental illnesses like depression are also a big culprit; they can zap away the motivation and determination needed to push through tired phases.
We need to support one another and help each other stand tall rather than judge them on what we can see from the outside. If your friend wants an early night, let them. If your parent falls asleep on the couch instead of finishing the chores, let them rest. If your partner needs to stay inside and rest, allow them to do that.
It can be hard to watch someone live life at a slow pace, but the point is that they are living and are well — focus on that rather than being impatient. Remember to always be kind.
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Getty image via Marjan_Apostolovic