On My Son’s 2nd Birthday in Heaven


It’s been two years since Wyatt was born and left this earth. I don’t sleep with his teddy bear or cry every night anymore, but the pain hasn’t gone away. Instead of a constant ache, it comes in waves now. When I think of what he would be doing now, or the holidays he’s missed and is going to miss, a wave of grief comes. When I see a little boy with Down syndrome who’s around the same age he would have been, I try to picture what he may have looked like. Reminders are all around, but I don’t need them anyway; I think about him every day.

I think a lot about what he is like now, in heaven. Will I get to see him grow up, or will I have missed it? I wonder if he’s aging like he would be on earth, if it’s faster, or if he’s frozen in time. Is he still the same tiny baby I got to hold for such a short time? I wonder if he has Down syndrome in heaven. I know it’s thought of as a disability, but it’s part of who he is, and I think it makes him perfect. His big brother is convinced he gets to eat candy for breakfast every morning and not brush his teeth; I hope that’s true. He still prays for him to come back to life. Two years later, and that’s still his prayer every night. That’s how much Wyatt is loved. That’s how much you can love someone you never even met.

He was only here for a short while, but he is missed the same as if he were here for a lifetime. I remember praying and hoping the day he was born that the doctors were wrong, that he would have a heartbeat after all and would be able to be saved. I know he was born too early for that, and I knew it then too, but hope was a necessity at that time. I found hope in a lot of different places. The Bible, praying, encouraging messages, stories of parents who had gone through the same thing, and when we found out we were pregnant with Hannah.

For about a year after he died though, a lot of hope came from a song. I listened to, “See” by Steven Curtis Chapman on repeat. It gave me such comfort and hope, and I still think about these words often:

But from the other side of all this pain
Is that you I hear
And calling out to me?
Saying “See, it’s everything you said that it would be
And even better than you would believe.
And I’m counting down the days until you’re here with me
And finally you’ll see”

Happy birthday, Wyatt James. I can’t wait to see you.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Image Credits: Amanda Yeary

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Down Syndrome

Hand with little pinky bent a little. On the hand with black marker the word: power

When My Son With Down Syndrome Noticed His Uniqueness

Curves or bends on the little fingers are common in those with Down syndrome. Clinodactyly is the medical term used to describe this. My son has Down syndrome, but I don’t think about the differences in his fingers in medical terms. Those little bends are just a part of who he is. When he was 9 [...]

When My Daughter With Down Syndrome Attended Her First School Dance

Friday night the four of us went out for pizza without our fifth family member, Gigi. She had far better things to do: her first school dance. A few weeks ago, a flyer came home in her school folder advertising the annual Snow Ball dance for ages 3 to 6. It is a drop-off event so parents [...]
Picture of a man with Down syndrome reading a book to a little kid while sitting on a blanket

The 'Congratulations Project' Celebrates Babies Born With Down Syndrome

From the earliest moments, it’s hard to imagine what anyone’s life will be like. The triumphs, the struggles, the first love, the heartbreak. New babies bring a sense of pure wonder and excitement into the world, a miracle that holds so many possibilities for the future. Hours after my brother, Jason, was born, my parents [...]
Little girl with Down syndrome

My Daughter With Down Syndrome Opened My Heart to Care for Others

I met my brand new baby girl August 16th, 2017 and when she came out of her sweet warm womb, she brought with her a little something extra. Chloe was diagnosed with Down syndrome at birth and the world saw it fitting that I would be her mama! When we announced her surprise diagnosis, nearly [...]