How could I be so naive? Why did I go over to his house? I should have yelled for help. I could have fought back. I must have said or did something to cause this. I should have just stayed home. How could I have let this happen to me?
These are the thoughts that run through my head when I’m having flashbacks of my assault.
The possibilities seem endless when I think of all the things I could have done differently that night. I think of all the things I did wrong that caused my rape, the things I could have done to prevent it. I question every action of that night, but then I realize, I did nothing wrong. I didn’t cause my rape in any way. I couldn’t have prevented the chain of events that would unfold that night. I couldn’t have known someone I had known for years would betray my trust and violate my body.
The truth is, it didn’t matter how much or how little I was wearing, if I drank or not. He would have felt entitled to my body no matter what the case. It didn’t matter what I said or didn’t say. It didn’t matter what I did because the ultimate truth is this: no one is entitled to my body.
Photo by Keenan Constance on Unsplash