13 Ways to Cope With Mother's Day When You Don't Have a Good Relationship With Your Mom


1. Turn off social media for the day. It’s OK not to see posts to moms about how great they are or how much someone has been influenced by them.

2. Make it your mantra: “I don’t need your love or validation to love me and validate me. I’m worth it.”

3. Recognize your mom’s issues were hers, not yours.

4. Accept that while being a parent is an honor, not all parents are honorable people. And you don’t have to own that.

5. Surround yourself with true friends and family who understand, without judgment, your feelings about your mother.

6. Know that your mother’s lack of love is in no way a reflection of you. Her shortcomings and lack of parenting and social skills are her vices, not yours.

7. Seek great mothers elsewhere. Who were your female role models? Who filled that role for you? Celebrate them.

8. It is OK to cut toxic people out of your life; even your own mother.

9. If your mom has a relationship with some of her children but not with you, know that she may not understand unconditional love. And that shouldn’t impact your own unconditional self-love.

10. Recognize your mom for her true gift to you: an unwritten manual on how to be a great parent by going opposite her path.

11. It is OK to feel hurt by the rejection of someone who was supposed to love you and protect you. Just don’t stay stuck there.

12. Seek help and love where you can find it through therapists, support groups, and local meet-ups.

13. Know that I see you and feel you. There are others in the same boat as you. You are not alone.

Getty image via Archv


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