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Aspergian Asylum-Seeker: a Poem


Round the corners I peek,
Warily, unnerved.
Watching for a faceless shape-shifter,
Capable of crushing my soul.
I watch other people in disbelief,
They don’t peek,
But rush about with no fear of danger,
Without apparent armor,
Forming units with comrades
For safety in numbers,
They dodge the bullets it seems.

When I can, I avoid this territory,
Hiding in the folds of my duvet
Like a creature in its burrow.
Or I seek out the quiet places
Populated with trees and bushes,
providing leafy cover,
camouflaging my presence.
The birds won’t give me away.
The wildlife poses no threat
While I lie still,
Quietly breathing
In the safety of the solitude.

Such unpopulated havens
Are my base behind the lines,
Slowing the pumping of adrenaline
Before I defy instinct and return
To the danger-zone,
Hoping not to activate mines,
Attempting to suppress the noise and chaos that
Unsteadies my nerves
And makes my heart pound in my chest.

There, I am exposed and vulnerable,
Struggling to identify friend from foe
In a sea of swimming faces all a blur.
I tend to operate alone,
Disguised by a feigned confidence
So they don’t sense my fear,
While I’m peering around the corners.

Getty photo by Jupiter Images.