Why I Actually ‘Like’ My Bipolar Disorder
By no means am I saying bipolar disorder is a “good thing.” Learning to live with bipolar and learning to love yourself alongside the disorder is hard. Bipolar can manifest in pessimistic traits; however, there are rarely some good ones too. I’ve taken the time to take a step back, look at my disorder and analyze not just the bad things (which seems to come too naturally) but the good things that come with this disorder too.
• What is Bipolar disorder?
With my bipolar, my emotions are so strong — stronger than almost anyone you can imagine. I feel things so intensely. This means when I feel love, I feel it so deeply. I love so hard, so rapidly. When I say I love you more than anything else in the world, I literally mean it. When I’m happy, I’m so fucking happy; I’m over the moon. I’m really enjoying life at this stage. When I feel compassion, I feel it so deeply. I feel like I can change the world; I know I can change the world. I’m so confident, I’m overwhelmed by it. It’s amazing, feeling so good out of something that’s meant to be so bad. It feels like a real achievement. A “look at me, I have bipolar and I’m happy.” I feel invincible, like I can do anything.
Having bipolar disorder and experiencing many setbacks makes me even more eager to succeed. You have a job that needs doing? I’ll give it 100 percent, no matter what it is. Sometimes, during a bipolar episode, I think feeling that I’ve let myself down makes me adamant to be better. To work better to do better, to achieve better. It makes me strive for perfection and that’s why, when I’ve put my mind to something, I only expect positive outcomes. People with bipolar disorder can be the best people to work with because of this trait. Yeah, they may get ill from time to time and need to take a day or two off, but when they’re there, they truly give that job their all, I promise you. And who doesn’t take sick days now and then?
To conclude, I’d like to point out that while my illness has its horrendous factors, it has some pretty good traits too. My bipolar is unique; everyone struggles differently, every case is different. Mine makes me love and work harder than anyone else. For me, this is a positive. It means I’m compassionate about everything, everyone and anything I put my mind too. It gives me the drive to push myself to reach my goals, which really does work. I often find myself excelling at tasks. I’ve learned to love myself through my bipolar. I’ve learned to focus on my positive characteristics instead of my negative ones.
Photo by Michael Dam on Unsplash