When My Sister Questioned My Chronic Illness After Watching 'Afflicted'

A few days ago I got a text from my sister telling me to give her a call. I gave her a call, and after the formalities she told me about a new show on Netflix called “Affliction.” As she gives me a synopsis of what the show’s about she says, “You know, all of them have chronic pain like you do, but I think it’s in their heads. Are your sure your chronic pain issues aren’t in your head?”

My healthy sister, who after watching a reality show, asked me if my chronic health problems were “in my head.”

“It’s in your head.”

“Hypochondriac.”

I heard those words growing up and throughout my life, as I’ve always has some sort of malady going on. In my younger years some of my ailments bordered on the melodramatic, but the pain I experienced was very real. It hurt to walk long distances because it caused unbearable pain in my feet, knees, and legs. I had a hard time writing as it caused my hand to hurt. Then there were those inexplicable periods where I generally felt unwell, but was told time and again that “it was all in my head.”

Many years later, I was diagnosed with a congenital condition which caused my legs to be crooked, thus damaging my knees so badly that they need to be replaced.  After 30-some odd years of walking on crooked legs caused severe osteoarthritis in my knees and my back, which could have been prevented had my legs been surgically straightened. I also was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, which explains why I had so many periods of felling unwell. All of this blows the “in your head” theory out of the water, with X-rays and a medical diagnosis to back up my medical problems.

I’m doubting what I know about myself to be true because my sister watched a show about those afflicted with chronic illnesses, and found their claims absurd.

When I’m questioned about the legitimacy of my conditions, it’s as if I’m not believed.  All my bad pain days, the medications I take and their dreadful side effects, and the grind of being sick is nothing more than a sympathy ploy. If people do feel sympathy, it’s because they’re seeing a woman with crooked legs who can hardly walk.

I decided to take a few hours to binge watch “Afflicted,” and even I found the show to be perplexing. The people featured in “Afflicted” have illnesses that aren’t understood, but are allowing the world to be privy to their struggles in hopes of finding answers and acceptance. Instead, they are met with negative publicity, and their heath problems are deduced to being psychological in origin.

Here I am, a person with chronic illness who doesn’t know what to make of others people’s health problems, yet who expects others to understand my chronic illnesses.

The paradox of those experiencing chronic illnesses is that it’s a subjective reality that one must live with to fully understand. “Afflicted” shows viewers a glimpse of what living with chronic illness is like, but misses its mark because only the person living with an illness knows what it’s like.

“Afflicted” panders to the healthy ones because they are more likely to form conclusions that are rooted from a lack of understanding. It’s good for ratings and caters to ignorance, because what people are ignorant about they are also disturbed by and interested in. Who wouldn’t want to watch a show where people believe their sicknesses are caused by electrical magnetic currents?

When someone questions my chronic illnesses as “being in my head” simply by watching a reality show, it’s as if of my medical conditions are delegitimized. All my bad pain days, the medications I take and their dreadful side effects, and the grind of being sick is nothing more than a sympathy ploy. If people do feel sympathy, it’s because they’re seeing a woman with crooked legs who can hardly walk.

For the healthy ones who watch “Afflicted” remember this: It’s a reality show that is documented in a way that will make people want to watch it. It’s embellished, dramatized, and certainly not indicative of those living with chronic illnesses. We are not your Netflix and chill. We aren’t queues for your binge-watching and entertainment. Think about that the next time you ask someone about the validity of their chronic illness after watching “Afflicted.”

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