Why You May Want to Try Premarital Counseling


Many people are familiar with marital counseling. When some people hear the term “premarital counseling,” they wonder if it’s a real thing. However, it is extremely real, and people engage in it so they’re on the same page before getting married. Couples counseling is increasing in popularity because it generally caters to people who want to make their relationships stronger but aren’t necessarily discussing getting married. Many people aren’t interested in getting married. Some may think marriage is unnecessary and believe their relationship is healthy without a legally binding certificate. However, many people value the sanctity of marriage and consider it to be a romantic event and want to celebrate their love. Premarital counseling is something people investigate and engage in when they want to preserve their relationship for years to come.

What do you talk about?

Couples often open up about finances, personalities differences and similarities, living arrangements, and sex lives. People who enter premarital counseling can talk about whatever issues they need to get out there so they’re starting their marriage off with open and honest communication. That’s another thing to remember: be honest with your counselor and your partner in the session.

Focusing on “the good” may not help before you get married.

When you are about to get married, your focus is likely on the “good.” You’re not necessarily thinking about what could go wrong. The bad things don’t bother you, because they may not exist. You may even be in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. 

Human beings differ when it comes to their relationships’ wants and needs. Some people want to be in monogamous relationships, but many people prefer to date multiple partners and are perfectly happy not settling down with one person. The trouble is when one person isn’t truthful about their relationship needs. If two people are on the same page and want to be exclusive, then marriage is possible, and it can last a long time. However, this is a pertinent topic to discuss in premarital counseling. Why? If you’re getting married, unless you decide you’re going to be in an open marriage, it’s crucial to outline that your relationship and intimate partnership is between you and your spouse.

Sex is an important issue to talk about in counseling before you get married. It’s essential to be honest about your sexuality with your partner so they understand what your needs are in the bedroom and your life. Don’t be afraid to discuss kinky details about your sex life with your counselor. They need to know if this is going to impact how you two relate and what you want from each other. I’m sure they’ve heard it all. 

It’s not a guaranteed solution to your problems, but premarital counseling could help you and your fiance discuss issues that are difficult and even scary to bring up. The best chance of premarital counseling working is when both partners participate in the process. A trained therapist who specializes in premarital counseling, whether they’re working with you online or in your local area, can make it easier for you to feel comfortable talking about sensitive topics. Get your marriage off to a better start, if you can, and consider trying premarital counseling before making that huge step.  

Getty image by santypan.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Mental Health

A woman staring blankly, her hand covering her eyes. Text over her picture reads: 18 Signs You Grew Up Emotionally Numb

18 Signs You Grew Up Emotionally 'Numb'

When we talk about mental health, we often focus on feelings that seem “too much.” Overwhelming anxiety, crushing depression, debilitating emotional reactions. But sometimes those who struggle with their mental health don’t feel too much. Instead, they actually struggle to feel anything at all. Emotional numbness can sometimes start as a coping mechanism. Maybe you were [...]
12 'Harmless' Comments People Make About Psychiatric Medication

12 'Harmless' Comments People Make About Psychiatric Medication

If you live with a mental illness and taking psychiatric medication is part of your mental health treatment plan, you might be familiar with some of the seemingly “harmless” but incredibly hurtful things people often say to those who take medication. Sometimes these “harmless” comments come in the form of a question. (“Pills have so many [...]
A man holding up a photograph of himself. Text reads: 22 Habits of People With Low Self-Esteem

22 Habits of People With Low Self-Esteem

While struggling with low self-esteem isn’t a mental health diagnosis, it can significantly affect your mental well-being. And it makes sense. Taking care of your mental health can sometimes take work, and why would you take care of yourself if you feel like you’re not good enough, or fundamentally unworthy? But you are good enough. [...]

20 Songs That Helped People Get Through the Aftermath of Trauma

The aftermath of trauma is complex and different for each individual experiencing it. While music cannot “cure” the pain left in the wake of a traumatic incident, for many individuals, music can be a comfort in recovery. Sometimes, songs can meet us right where we are in our struggle and give us hope for the [...]