Why You May Want to Try Premarital Counseling

Many people are familiar with marital counseling. When some people hear the term “premarital counseling,” they wonder if it’s a real thing. However, it is extremely real, and people engage in it so they’re on the same page before getting married. Couples counseling is increasing in popularity because it generally caters to people who want to make their relationships stronger but aren’t necessarily discussing getting married. Many people aren’t interested in getting married. Some may think marriage is unnecessary and believe their relationship is healthy without a legally binding certificate. However, many people value the sanctity of marriage and consider it to be a romantic event and want to celebrate their love. Premarital counseling is something people investigate and engage in when they want to preserve their relationship for years to come.

What do you talk about?

Couples often open up about finances, personalities differences and similarities, living arrangements, and sex lives. People who enter premarital counseling can talk about whatever issues they need to get out there so they’re starting their marriage off with open and honest communication. That’s another thing to remember: be honest with your counselor and your partner in the session.

Focusing on “the good” may not help before you get married.

When you are about to get married, your focus is likely on the “good.” You’re not necessarily thinking about what could go wrong. The bad things don’t bother you, because they may not exist. You may even be in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. 

Human beings differ when it comes to their relationships’ wants and needs. Some people want to be in monogamous relationships, but many people prefer to date multiple partners and are perfectly happy not settling down with one person. The trouble is when one person isn’t truthful about their relationship needs. If two people are on the same page and want to be exclusive, then marriage is possible, and it can last a long time. However, this is a pertinent topic to discuss in premarital counseling. Why? If you’re getting married, unless you decide you’re going to be in an open marriage, it’s crucial to outline that your relationship and intimate partnership is between you and your spouse.

Sex is an important issue to talk about in counseling before you get married. It’s essential to be honest about your sexuality with your partner so they understand what your needs are in the bedroom and your life. Don’t be afraid to discuss kinky details about your sex life with your counselor. They need to know if this is going to impact how you two relate and what you want from each other. I’m sure they’ve heard it all. 

It’s not a guaranteed solution to your problems, but premarital counseling could help you and your fiance discuss issues that are difficult and even scary to bring up. The best chance of premarital counseling working is when both partners participate in the process. A trained therapist who specializes in premarital counseling, whether they’re working with you online or in your local area, can make it easier for you to feel comfortable talking about sensitive topics. Get your marriage off to a better start, if you can, and consider trying premarital counseling before making that huge step.  

Getty image by santypan.

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