Why I Didn’t Wear My ‘Bipolar’ Necklace for a Year

A year ago, I bought a nameplate necklace. Instead of my name, it said one word: Bipolar.

• What is Bipolar disorder?

I bought it because I wanted to be bold and start a conversation. To put myself out there and let my newly-diagnosed bipolar disorder be fully part of me. Plus, Bando donating 100% of the net proceeds to Bring Change to Mind didn’t hurt.

But I didn’t wear it. I opened the packaging and wore it for an hour or so before someone asked, “Aren’t you afraid of what people will think?”

I put my new necklace away in a jewelry box and didn’t touch it for a year.

I remember how I felt when I put away that necklace. Ashamed and alone. That’s what stigma does. It silences your voice when you want to speak and isolates you when there are so many people dealing with similar issues.

According to NAMI, approximately 1 in 5 people in the U.S. experiences a mental illness in a given year. That means I interact with at least one person who is going through an invisible struggle every day, but we don’t talk about it. It’s a private shame that holds us back.

And stigma is dangerous. It’s one of the reasons it took me nearly a year to get help and it’s why many people refuse therapy, medication or treatment. Living with mental illness is hard enough. Living with the stigma of it exacerbates it.

Yesterday, a friend joked that we should all name our favorite psychological disorders. The first thing that came to mind for me was bipolar disorder. One year after my diagnosis, it’s part of who I am, but it doesn’t define me.

I realized now that I should have spoken up. It’s my responsibility to start the conversation about mental illness, to end the stigma.

I can make a small difference and be an example in my circle. I can help people realize that mental illness doesn’t always look like the movies or the latest hit TV show. Everyone has mental health, so anyone can experience mental illness.

I put on my bipolar necklace today. It’s not all of me, but it’s a good introduction into the parts of me you can’t see. I hope someone talks to me about it.