If You Feel Like Your Life Is Falling Apart, Read This
If you feel like your life is falling apart, read this. If you feel like your life if perfecting stable, read this. If you feel like your life is somewhere in between, read this.
Everyone at some point in their lives will feel out of control, like things are going in a direction they did not want or anticipate. They will feel like everything they have tried so hard to achieve is not coming to fruition, or is collapsing after all the hard work put into making it reality. They will feel stuck in their own life and have no idea what to do about it. While reading this, you may feel many of these same emotions.
I am currently sitting in my kitchen, feeling and thinking all of these things. I feel my life, all of my relationships, plans and desires, falling away. After taking so long to establish, I can feel the very foundations of my life slipping away and taking everything on top with it. It took so long to put the life I have together, and yet it takes very little to knock it all over. It makes me sick to my stomach. And the worst of all: I feel like I can’t do anything about it.
I am frozen in fear that, regardless of how bad things seem now, they will only get worse. I am anxious about what will come next because my compass has been shattered and have no idea what direction I am heading in. I am sad looking at my hard work turned to bits and pieces right in front of me, like the most beautiful stained glass masterpiece shattered in a matter of seconds. The one phrase that I think sums up where I am now is “I don’t know what to do.”
And it’s true: I don’t what to do. I don’t know how to rebuild a life I feel has collapsed into itself. I don’t know how to rebuild a window from millions of tiny shards of glass. I don’t know how to sail a ship without a compass. I don’t know how to tell a violent storm to stop, or even to just slow down. I simply don’t know.
If you find yourself in a similar season of life, a season where it seems you are always saying “I don’t know,” I know how scary it is. No matter how out of control you feel, you do know how to start.
It starts with baby steps. Opening your eyes in the morning is a step in the right direction. Sitting up in bed is a step. Getting up and making your bed is a huge step for many. Showering, brushing your teeth, eating breakfast, going outside. All of these things are steps in the right direction. These things will lead to bigger steps. Going to work or school, spending time with friends and family, dedicating real time for self-care. Keep taking these steps, one at a time. You may not feel in control of life, but at least you can keep walking through it.
Losing control of life is a terrifying thing. But if you can keep walking through it, taking things day by day, maybe even minute by minute, you can start to rebuild. Every storm will leave some kind of destruction in its path. But you have what it takes to start rebuilding. It won’t happen in a day, and it may be tested again. But you can get through it; I know you can.