Listen to People With Borderline Personality Disorder

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) aren’t “bad.”

They aren’t “attention seeking” either, as some therapists may think.

They aren’t manipulative.

Many do not rage.

In fact, a lot have wonderful relationships.

Almost all have childhood trauma.

I haven’t met one without it.

Some may try to differentiate it from complex post-traumatic disorder.

I do not.

Rather, I see this population as a group of individuals with what Bethany Webster may call a, “mother wound.”

They have attachment trauma from childhood.

They may have a fractured sense of self because they were never given the opportunity to experience developmentally necessary stages of life.

They have young children within them who are hurting greatly.

They don’t need to be abandoned to heal.

Rather, they need the world to stop with the stigma.

They need the world to stop perpetuating the idea that they are, “bad.”

These people need more help with their attachment trauma.

They need Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, not just DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy).

They need active listening.

They need to be heard instead of ignored.

When they say they are in pain, believe them.

They are.

It’s time we pass the mic to this population and hear their stories.

The criteria in the DSM for BPD is not the voices of those who struggle with it.

It’s time it reflect our experiences a bit better.

I’m tired of therapists thinking they know what we need.

Many don’t know the first thing about childhood trauma or what therapy will truly help.

These individuals definitely don’t need therapists who are dismissive and encourage them to just regulate themselves.

Let us talk.

Most of us are survivors of childhood trauma.

Get to know us and hear our stories.

Be kind and listen.