It’s March, which means wedding season is fast approaching! While I may not be getting married myself, I have been to several weddings in my time; not to mention, I moonlight as a wedding blogger (yes, seriously, this is a real job, and it is awesome). And I have ADHD. So for all you ADHD brides out there, here is a handy guide to making your wedding as ADHD-friendly — and therefore awesome — as possible.
Other relevant stories:
• PMDD and ADHD
• Can You Have ADHD and Depression?
• Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just Lazy?
• What is ADHD?
1. Send electronic invitations.
With the advent of websites like Paperless Post, the days of paper-based stationery having the monopoly on aesthetic appeal are at an end. And that’s excellent since electronic invitations cannot be accidentally ruined. Plus, many e-vite services offer the option to have guests RSVP electronically too, creating a guest list that is maintained online and updated in real time — in other words, a disorganized ADHDer’s dream come true!
2. Fill your registry with duplicates.
I’ve lived in mortal fear of accidentally dropping and shattering my parents’ dinnerware, and the fear hasn’t kept me from doing just that. So unless you want your brand-new five-piece place setting to become a four-piece (or three-piece, or two-piece… you get the idea), register for more than one of everything that is even the slightest bit breakable.
3. Pick helpful bridesmaids.
When I was a bridesmaid for the first time three years ago, I learned that members of a bridal party actually have a function beyond wearing matching dresses. Ideally at least, a bridesmaid is there to assist the bride in the hours before she says “I do.” This can be incredibly important if that bride has ADHD. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to have at least one bridesmaid free at all times to sit by your side and help you calm down. But also don’t pick too many bridesmaids; that can be overstimulating for an ADHD gal and defeat the purpose of having bridesmaids at all.
4. Be prepared for everything to go wrong.
Wardrobe malfunctions, menstrual cramps, the list of potential disasters is endless. This is true whether you have ADHD or not. Be ready for every eventuality and have essentials on hand including a mini sewing kit, superglue, and an emergency supply of ibuprofen.
5. Have a day wedding.
This is a subtle but important accommodation if you take ADHD medication. After all, you’re only medicated during the day, and I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you want to be present and cogent on what in Western society has been deemed The Biggest Day of Your Life.
6. Plan your outfit accordingly.
Let’s face it, ladies: We can be kind of clumsy. So take that into account when you’re assembling your bridal ensemble. Unless you wear six-inch heels regularly, you may want to forego stilettos; if you’ve been known to trip from time to time, seriously consider a mini- or midi dress instead of a floor-length gown. Avoid trains like the plague!
7. Let both parents walk you down the aisle.
Again, “klutz” is often an ADHD gal’s middle name. So go ahead and enlist not one but two parents (or other relatives or friends) to help you get from point A to point B during your wedding processional. There’s no shame in needing some extra help — plus, you’ll be creating a memory with the loved ones in question that will last a lifetime.
8. Don’t even try to memorize your vows.
I’ve never seen anyone attempt to do this, but for crying out loud, don’t be the person who does. Your wedding ceremony is not the right time to test your working memory or any other cognitive function. Just say “Screw it,” and break out the notecards.
9. Keep the ceremony moving along.
The unfortunate truth is ADHD doesn’t go AWOL on significant occasions in your life. Thus, getting impatient and fidgety even in the middle of your wedding is a very real danger. Do preemptive damage control and make sure any readings by your loved ones, speeches by your officiant, etc. are going to be short but sweet. And if your significant other has a problem with that or any other accommodation you require as an ADHD bride, frankly you shouldn’t be marrying that person in the first place.
10. Practice your bouquet toss ahead of time — seriously.
…I think this speaks for itself!
I am a writer and editor with a special interest in ADHD, especially as it applies to women and girls with the disorder, including myself.
drewdakessian