Alexithymia is a condition where a person struggles to identify, describe, and process their own emotions. Often described as “emotional blindness,” it doesn’t mean someone has no feelings—it means they can’t access or name them easily.

Many people with alexithymia say things like:

• “I know something’s wrong, but I don’t know what.”

• “I feel numb, or too much, or nothing at all.”

• “Everyone says ‘just talk about it’—but I don’t have the words.”

It’s a neuropsychological trait that exists on a spectrum, and it often shows up alongside conditions like autism, PTSD, depression, or traumatic brain injury. According to research, about 10% of the general population may experience alexithymia, though rates are higher in some communities.

What Does Alexithymia Feel Like?

Living with alexithymia can feel like standing in a dark room with no light switch. You may sense that something is off—tight shoulders, a racing heart, that pit in your stomach—but you don’t know if it’s anger, anxiety, hunger, or sadness. You might even get frustrated with your own mind for not “translating” the signals correctly.

Common experiences include:

• Feeling emotionally “flat” or distant, even when others are deeply moved

• Physical symptoms, like stomachaches or chest tightness, without a clear emotional cause

• Frustration or shame when asked to explain your feelings

• Difficulty relating to others or knowing how to support loved ones emotionally

• Internal confusion—knowing something is “off” but not knowing why

Some people with alexithymia are very logical or intellectual. They might analyze everything—except their own emotional lives, which remain a blank.

What Causes Alexithymia?

There’s no single cause. Alexithymia can be trait-based (something you’re born with or wired for) or state-based (something that develops due to trauma, injury, or mental illness).

Possible causes and contributing factors:

• Neurodevelopmental differences (such as autism spectrum conditions)

• Childhood emotional neglect or trauma

• Chronic PTSD or dissociation

• Brain injuries or certain types of stroke

• Depression or anxiety disorders

• Substance use or recovery

• Genetic predisposition

Some people develop alexithymia as a form of protection: if emotions have historically been dangerous or confusing, your brain may shut the door on them. It’s a defense mechanism that makes sense in context—even if it creates problems later on.

Alexithymia and Mental Health

People with alexithymia are more likely to experience mental health struggles, not because of the trait itself, but because unfelt or unspoken emotions often go unresolved. Without emotional processing, stress builds in the body and can spill over into anxiety, depression, or burnout.

Alexithymia is also linked to:

• Chronic pain and somatic symptoms

• Eating disorders

• Substance use disorders

• Relationship difficulties

• Lower satisfaction with therapy or emotional support

That said, it’s possible to live a full and meaningful life with alexithymia. But it may require building new emotional tools or learning to “translate” body signals into words over time.

Strategies for Navigating Alexithymia

There is no cure—but there are ways to work with alexithymia, not against it.

Helpful approaches include:

• Body-first techniques: Tune into physical sensations. Your body may “feel” what your mind can’t name. Somatic therapies and interoception training (learning to recognize internal signals) can be beneficial.

• Creative expression: Art, music, movement, or journaling can help release emotions. You don’t have to name it to express it.

• Emotion word banks and mood wheels: Tools like The Feelings Wheel or apps like Moodnotes can help bridge the gap between sensation and speech.

• Compassionate relationships: Partners, friends, or therapists who don’t pressure you to “open up,” but who stay calm and curious when you do, are invaluable.

You might not become someone who cries at movies or journals every night. But you can learn your own emotional language, one signal at a time.

It’s Not That You Don’t Feel. It’s That You Haven’t Been Heard.

Alexithymia doesn’t mean you’re cold, broken, or incapable of love. It means your emotions speak a language you haven’t learned yet—or weren’t given the tools to understand.

That’s not your fault. And you’re not alone.

You don’t have to become a different person to be worthy of connection. You can start where you are, with the signals you do notice. You can build a bridge, slowly, between sensation and speech. And with enough time, patience, and support—you might even find that your emotions were never truly gone. They were just waiting for the right translator.