Stimming is often portrayed in just a few ways—loud, obvious, and visible from across the room. But for many autistic people, people with ADHD, and other neurodivergent folks, stimming looks much quieter than that.
It looks like clicking a pen inside your pocket.
It looks like rubbing your thumb against a seam in your jeans.
It looks like humming so softly you can barely hear it yourself.
These are covert stims: subtle, often unconscious ways people regulate their nervous systems while trying to stay safe or unnoticed in environments that aren’t always accommodating.
If you recognize yourself here, there’s nothing wrong with you. These behaviors exist because your nervous system is trying to take care of you.
What Is Stimming?
Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behavior) refers to repetitive actions that help regulate sensory input, emotion, focus, or arousal. People stim for many reasons, including:
- Calming anxiety or overwhelm
- Increasing alertness or focus
- Releasing excess energy
- Processing emotion
- Creating predictability in an unpredictable environment
Stimming is common across humans. Foot tapping, hair twirling, pacing while on the phone—these are all forms of stimming. Neurodivergent people often stim more frequently, more intensely, or in more specific ways because their nervous systems process input differently.
What Makes a Stim “Covert”?
A covert stim is not a separate category of behavior so much as a social adaptation.
Covert stims are typically:
- Small and low-visibility
- Easy to hide or explain away
- Less likely to draw attention or judgment
- Often developed after being corrected, teased, or punished for more obvious stims
Many people don’t consciously choose covert stimming. It develops over time, especially in environments where being visibly different feels unsafe.
For some, covert stimming is a survival skill. For others, it’s simply what feels natural.
Why People Develop Covert Stims
People use covert stims for many overlapping reasons:
- Masking: To avoid being singled out, bullied, or judged
- Professional expectations: To appear “appropriate” at work or school
- Safety: Especially for marginalized people whose differences may be punished
- Habit: Years of redirecting obvious stims into quieter ones
It’s important to say this clearly: covert stimming is not inherently bad. But neither is overt stimming. The goal is not to force quietness—it’s to have choice.
Categories of Covert Stimming
Below are common types of covert stimming. Not everyone relates to every category, and that’s okay.
1. Hand and Finger Stims
These are among the most common covert stims because hands are already “allowed” to move.
Examples include:
- Rubbing the pads of fingers together
- Pressing fingernails into the skin (without injury)
- Rolling a ring around a finger
- Clicking a pen quietly or inside a pocket
- Tapping fingers in patterned sequences
- Tracing shapes on a surface or on skin
- Twisting hair near the scalp rather than at the ends
Many people report that these stims help with focus during conversations or meetings.
2. Clothing and Texture Stims
Fabric is an always-available sensory tool.
Examples include:
- Rubbing seams, hems, or tags
- Pinching fabric between fingers
- Running fabric across lips or cheeks discreetly
- Wearing the same “safe” clothing repeatedly
- Choosing textured jewelry or accessories
- Pressing feet into carpet through socks
Some people design their wardrobes specifically to include stim-friendly textures.
3. Oral and Mouth Stims
These stims are often redirected from childhood behaviors.
Examples include:
- Chewing gum or mints
- Pressing your tongue against your teeth in patterns
- Sucking on water bottle straws
- Quiet teeth clicking
- Lip pressing or subtle biting
- Holding objects between lips briefly (like pens)
Oral stims can be grounding, especially during stress or concentration.
4. Breath and Vocal Stims
These are some of the most internalized stims.
Examples include:
- Controlled breathing patterns
- Silent humming
- Subvocal repetition of words or sounds
- Gentle throat clearing
- Whispering phrases under the breath
- Singing internally with subtle jaw movement
Many people don’t even recognize these as stims until they stop doing them.
5. Foot and Leg Stims
Lower-body stims are easy to hide under desks or tables.
Examples include:
- Rocking feet inside shoes
- Pressing toes into the floor
- Tensing and releasing calf muscles
- Crossing and uncrossing legs rhythmically
- Heel tapping with shoes dampening the sound
These stims often help release excess energy.
6. Visual Stims
Visual stims are not always obvious.
Examples include:
- Staring at repeating patterns
- Watching light reflections
- Following scrolling text
- Zoning out on moving objects
- Arranging items symmetrically
People may appear “distracted,” but are often regulating.
7. Cognitive or Mental Stims
Not all stimming is physical.
Examples include:
- Repeating phrases internally
- Running favorite scenes or songs in the mind
- Counting patterns
- Imagining textures or movements
- Creating internal lists or scripts
These stims can be especially common in environments where physical movement feels unsafe.
8. Micro-Movement Stims
These stims are almost invisible.
Examples include:
- Jaw clenching and release
- Shoulder rolling slightly
- Subtle posture shifts
- Micro head tilts
- Tensing and relaxing muscle groups
They often function as pressure-based regulation.
Covert Stimming and Masking
For many neurodivergent people, covert stimming doesn’t exist in isolation. It’s deeply intertwined with masking—the conscious or unconscious effort to hide traits associated with autism, ADHD, or other forms of neurodivergence in order to fit social expectations.
Masking can include things like:
- Suppressing more obvious stims (hand flapping, rocking, vocalizing)
- Forcing eye contact or stillness
- Monitoring facial expressions and tone
- Rehearsing conversations internally
- Redirecting stims into quieter, more socially acceptable forms
Covert stimming often develops because masking is required. Many people learn early—sometimes through direct correction, sometimes through subtle social feedback—that certain movements or sounds are “too much.” Over time, regulation doesn’t disappear; it just goes underground.
This adaptation can be incredibly resourceful. Covert stims allow people to stay regulated in classrooms, workplaces, medical settings, and public spaces that may not tolerate visible difference. For some, they are the difference between coping and shutting down.
But masking always has a cost.
Some people don’t realize how much they rely on covert stims until they try to stop—and suddenly feel dysregulated, overwhelmed, or emotionally raw.
The Toll Masking Can Take
While masking and covert stimming can be protective, maintaining them over long periods often comes with high costs.
People who mask heavily report higher rates of:
- Chronic fatigue
- Anxiety and depression
- Autistic or ADHD burnout
- Dissociation or loss of bodily awareness
- Difficulty identifying needs or emotions
Because covert stims are small and constant, they can keep someone functioning just enough to meet external expectations—while internal strain goes unnoticed by others. From the outside, a person may appear calm, competent, or “high-functioning.” Inside, they may be expending enormous effort just to stay regulated.
Many neurodivergent adults describe a delayed impact: they get through the workday or social event, only to crash later. This isn’t weakness. It’s the nervous system finally releasing the load it was carrying.
Long-term masking can also blur self-knowledge. When someone has spent years redirecting or suppressing natural regulation, they may struggle to recognize what actually helps them feel grounded. Unmasking, for some, involves relearning how to stim openly—or even noticing stims at all.
None of this means covert stimming is wrong. It means choice and safety matter. Regulation should not require self-erasure.
Is Covert Stimming Healthy?
Covert stimming itself is not harmful.
The question is not whether you stim, but:
- Do you have access to regulation?
- Do you feel safe using it?
- Are you forcing yourself to suppress stims that your body needs?
Many people aim for intentional stimming—choosing when and how to stim based on context, not shame.
Why We Shouldn’t Discriminate Against Stimming
Stimming—covert or overt—is not disruptive, childish, or unprofessional by default. It is a form of communication and self-regulation. Discriminating against stimming sends a clear message: your body is acceptable only if it looks neurotypical.
When people are told to stop stimming, the result is rarely calm or focus. More often, it leads to:
- Increased anxiety
- Reduced concentration
- Emotional dysregulation
- Substitution with more harmful coping mechanisms
In schools, discouraging stimming can interfere with learning. In workplaces, it can reduce productivity and contribute to burnout. In healthcare settings, it can undermine trust and safety.
Respecting stimming doesn’t mean ignoring boundaries—it means understanding intent. A person rocking, fidgeting, or avoiding stillness is not being disrespectful. They are regulating.
Creating non-discriminatory environments might look like:
- Allowing movement and fidgets without comment
- Avoiding dress codes that restrict sensory regulation
- Not policing eye contact or stillness
- Trusting people to know what helps their bodies
Normalizing stimming benefits everyone. Many neurotypical people regulate through movement too—they’re just less likely to be punished for it.
Supporting Covert Stimming (In Yourself or Others)
Helpful approaches include:
- Normalizing subtle movement
- Allowing fidget tools without judgment
- Designing stim-friendly environments
- Letting people look away or move during conversation
- Avoiding comments like “stop fidgeting”
Respect means assuming regulation, not disrespect.
A Final Note
If you recognize your own habits in this list, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.
Covert stimming is not a flaw. It’s evidence of adaptability, creativity, and self-regulation in a world that often asks neurodivergent people to be smaller than they are.
You deserve regulation without apology.
And if you ever get the chance to stim openly and safely—quietly or loudly, subtly or freely—that’s not a step backward. It’s a step toward being at home in your body.