When My Hyperlexia Makes Words Unavailable to Me

In my experience, people tend to think conditions like ADHD, dyslexia and hyperlexia only affect children. People often still think autism only affects children, but then what happens to these kids when they grow up?

We learn to cope with, compensate for and manage our differences, but they are still there.

I’ve always been hyperlexic. My verbal comprehension has improved greatly since I was a child, though I still have auditory processing difficulties. Even though things are much better — I’ll always be hyperlexic.

According to the Center for Speech and Language Disorders:

”Hyperlexia is a syndrome that is characterized by a child’s precocious ability to read (far above what would be expected at their age), significant difficulty in understanding and using verbal language (or a profound nonverbal learning disability) and significant problems during social interactions.”

It’s a good thing I love reading.

It is beyond frustrating to have so much to say and not be able to express things in face-to-face conversations. When I try to talk, it’s as if I know the information, but my brain is holding back the words.

My arguments are often ineffective and unpersuasive, and the words can come out making me sound uneducated and shy. I cannot beg or force the words. Nothing helps when the words are unavailable to me.

I am not the person people see in these moments — I am the voice behind my keyboard.

The thoughts and information are still inside, even when I cannot express them as you stand in front of me.

I am so grateful for my keyboard. I am so happy I learned to type and write in school. This has turned my hyperlexia into something I’m thankful for.

I am so grateful to have found my words.

Image via Thinkstock.

Follow this journey on Anonymously Autistic.

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