When I Never Let Anyone See Me Break in My Life With Cerebral Palsy

Growing up with cerebral palsy, people often assume you are weak and fragile. I try not to let my cerebral palsy get the best of me, but I’m human and sometimes I would get angry because my body doesn’t always cooperate with me. I hardly ever let anyone see the side of me that breaks down. I felt I had to be tough, I couldn’t let people see me at my weakest point. If I let people see me at my weakest point, then I would just be showing them how weak I really was. I would hold my emotions inside until they boiled up and erupted like a volcano.

Now that I’m getting older, I’m realizing getting angry and breaking down is part of being human. I’m getting better at holding in my emotions, but sometimes when I have a bad day I’ll put on a fake persona and act like everything is OK when inside I feel I have no control, because it is easier than facing what I’m really feeling. Sometimes hiding behind the mask is easier than facing the truth. On rare occasions I still get upset with my body and the pain that comes along with having cerebral palsy, but then I think about all the positive things that have happened from having cerebral palsy and the positive always outweighs the negatives. I’ve realized breaking down is only a sign of strength. As humans we can only take so much until we all break down.