How YouTuber Lilly Singh Helped Me Stop Apologizing for My Crohn's Disease
So, I just watched a YouTube video by the amazing llSuperwomanll, also known as Lily Singh, called “I’m NOT sorry,” and I got inspired. In the video, she talks about how she apologizes for not wearing makeup but then realizes that she shouldn’t have to. Makeup isn’t what makes you beautiful, it’s your personality. I decided to put my own spin on that ideology.
Ever since I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, I felt guilty and embarrassed about my illness. I was also very scared because I was still a kid. I didn’t understand what Crohn’s was at all. Nearing a decade later, I still feel insecure. However, even though I have little control over when I feel my symptoms, I’m not going to apologize for them. My Crohn’s isn’t my fault. I didn’t choose to have this illness, so why should I feel bad?
So, I am not sorry for having Crohn’s disease.
I am not sorry for my lips swelling up.
I am not sorry for having dietary restrictions.
I am not sorry for cooking my “weird” meals.
I am not sorry for having accommodations at school.
I am not sorry for having to take a long time in the bathroom.
I am not sorry for having to go to bed early.
I am not sorry for canceling plans because my illness flared up.
I am not sorry for having anxiety in public places.
I am not sorry for having to use a stress ball or hug a stuffed animal
when I’m getting an infusion or blood drawn.
I am not sorry for listening to music when I’m feeling anxious.
I am not sorry for taking time alone by myself.
I am not sorry for sleeping until noon some weekends.
I am not sorry for taking a million vitamins a day.
I am not sorry for taking a medication that has its own TV commercial.
I am not sorry for talking about my Crohn’s disease and social anxiety.
I will no longer apologize for my chronic illness. I didn’t choose to get Crohn’s, so why should I? The only way I’m going to stop being so insecure is by accepting these realities. It’s easier said than done, but I’m working towards it slowly every day. Anyone who has a problem with my Crohn’s will have to deal with it.
I encourage you to stop apologizing for the things your illness does that you can’t control and take ownership of it instead. You didn’t ask for this life, so you don’t need to be sorry.
Photo courtesy of Lilly Singh’s Instagram account.