To the Friend Who Loved Me Through My Depression
There is a phrase “no one will love you until you learn to love yourself” that I believe to be very untrue. When I was struggling, leading myself down the darkest of paths, salty blurred vision, reddened eyes, heart heavy with pain, this is when I needed to be loved the most.
Sometimes all you need is one. One person to tell you everything is going to be OK. That you’re going to be OK. One person can change everything.
I didn’t love myself, but you did.
You gave me a glimmer of hope that things might begin to change. That the future was worth fighting for. You looked into my eyes and saw me as beautiful; your love, it changed me. You gave a breath of fresh air when I needed it the most. Wiping away my tears, giving me hugs, 3 a.m. calls when you just listened.
Because the darkest of places are not so dark anymore when someone doesn’t mind sitting right there with you; the darkest eventually subsides because it can’t handle light. Your love shined a light on where I didn’t love myself. Your love and patience was the light that broke through that darkness. The effect you had on me is immeasurable.
Those parts of myself I only showed to you — the regrets, guilt and painful thoughts; the shadowy corners and hidden parts, your love, it warmed them, my imperfections, you embraced them. You never told me I should smile more, but you made me smile anyway; piece by piece, you put back together my aching mind, heart, body and soul.
Never let anyone tell you that you are not worth being loved if you don’t love yourself.
We all go through moments of darkness where we don’t have to hide what is gory and unpleasant. A true friend will love you regardless of your most comfortable state, and if that happens to be in tear-stained bedsheets, crying because you need a moment before you get back up, then you have found a friend who’s worth the world.
To the friend who loved me through my depression,
Thank you.
Sometimes all you need is one.
Follow this journey on annabash.com.
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Anna Bashkova spent her early twenties feeling messed up, lost, confused, struggling with concealed anxiety and not ever having a plan B. She now dedicates her site to spread the message that you’re allowed to sidetrack. You’re allowed to feel lost. You’re allowed to have moments where you don’t love yourself. But you can never, ever let anyone fool you that you can’t do something. Including yourself.
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