#idontwannalive #Deppresed
Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
How long can you hold your breath
before you can't hold your breath any longer
And how long until your lungs give out
and the sound that used to fill the void
Quiets like a mass of midnight, searching for its piece of the pie Today
I stood in front of a window and
imagined what it would be like to fly, no I didn't
I imagined what it would be like to
jump outside the frame that caged me inside
But my better judgment said it wouldn't be
very kind if someone you cared about found you
That's the voice that plays like a tape on rewind, rewind, rewind...
It wouldn't be fair to a stranger either Today I'm reminded of the time I watched a
man jump into a highway when I was just seventeen
The car lights on either side of the upper
portion of the Auto Route below standing at attention
Staring off into the distance
Just waiting for the road to clear
And the way to the comfort of their loved ones to be made Death is a strange and hollow inconvenience when you think about it
There's a blank face that quickly and abruptly finds
its way to all the witness something of that magnitude
It's not empathy, it's not sympathy
It's more of a force intrinsic and integral self reflection
Why would someone do such a thing?
What could drive someone to that type of depth?
Could I be driven to such depths?
Would I ever be able to jump?There is no place to be soft in these moments, jump
There's no time to caught in this moment, jump
There's no need to believe there ever was a moment, jump
Sigh, believe, relief in this moment
'Cause I could never be the one to be in this moment
Or could I? jump Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
Do you first hold your breath?
Do you exhale all of your problems and
worries before casting your thoughts to the bottom
Of an otherwise empty place below
the poverty line of depressed thoughts
And the sad calamity of a hunted house you've called home?
I don't know
Maybe someone out there has an answer...But for now I'm still trying to come to terms of the fact
That today I looked up how long it would take to drown