A Conversation in My Head When Morning Depression Strikes
Breathe in:
I know today is going to suck, I can feel it.
Breathe out:
You can always make the best of it.
Breathe in:
Same stuff, different day. Nothing is going to change.
Breathe out:
You can start that change today.
Breathe in:
Yeah… but I feel so angry. Inward and outward.
Breathe out:
Let’s not get hasty. Put things into perspective.
Breathe in:
Screw this! I would rather be in my bed sleeping. At least I can’t feel things in my sleep.
Breathe out:
You can do this! I can do this!
Breathe in:
Alright… Alright. I’ll try.
Breathe out:
That’s all you can do.
Breathe in:
We will see how it goes first before I downward spiral.
Breathe out:
OK. Just try not to lose your sh*t!
Breathe in:
Yeah, but the problem is I live too much inside my head. Too many thoughts and feelings ruminating…
Breathe out:
You’re not alone. Fight your demons, or let them win. It’s your choice.
Breathe in:
Can I go back to sleep now?
Breathe out:
No. You need to keep your head up. Find hope and just keep living.
Follow this journey on A.M.Furtek.
Amanda is 25, and for the past two years she has worked at a hospital in the south suburbs of Chicago as a mental health counselor in behavioral health care. She loves to write and share stories. She, too, suffers from mental illnesses, such as depression, and she likes people to know they’re not alone through relatable stories.
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