How to 'Advocate Like a Mother'

Before motherhood, I used to think of advocacy as big grand movements, loud protests and picket signs in bright colors.

My experience so far has taught me that advocacy arrives in many forms. As the mother of a medically fragile child, it can come quietly. In moments where you feel lost in a fog of sleep deprivation and endless appointments, all you hear is the sound of your child’s voice –the only voice that matters. And so you advocate.

It happens behind the glare of computer screens. Over sleepless nights where you tirelessly research your child’s conditions and needs. Searching for hope over the internet.

It happens while sitting in doctor’s offices, as words tumble out of your mouth that you hope paint a clear picture of your child’s struggles while also lovingly emphasizing their capabilities.

At times, it is absolutely heartbreaking. You end up disappointed by a broken medical system that leaves you to fight your way through it. You fight so hard to stay strong in front of your child, only to break down in the privacy of your bathroom, in the shower, or in a solitary drive in your car to the grocery store. Hiding the tears so your child doesn’t see the toll that it has on you.

There are days you feel tired to the bone. Moments that can bring you to your knees, leaving you to wonder if you can find the strength to keep fighting. Yet, somehow you do.

Sometimes that means you have to retreat back into your shell, to feel the grief, the frustrations, the disappointment.

Sometimes that means you have to allow yourself to let the pile of paperwork grow and leave those emails and calls to respond for another day.

You need those breaks. Yet, only long enough to give yourself time to regroup and find the strength you weren’t sure you had.

A strength that is found rooted in love for your child, that can wash away your worries and bring you back to why you are here. This all-consuming love that turns you into a fierce mama bear when your child is in need, leading you to advocate like a mother.