When my son was diagnosed with slow processing speed by a neuropsychologist in his sophomore year of high school, I realized how much he had been silently compensating all his life. He is incredibly smart and has always done well in school, but intelligence doesn’t change the reality of his brain. Simple tasks take him longer, and he expends huge amounts of energy just to keep up with things most people do automatically.The diagnosis came after his English teacher, a trusted family friend, recommended testing. He had brilliant ideas but struggled to finish timed essays and manage deadlines. I immediately felt overwhelming guilt. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t recognized how hard he was working, and in my discomfort, I sometimes brushed off or dismissed what he was trying to tell me. I now see that doing that was hurtful, even though I didn’t mean it to be.Even in early childhood, there were signs. He was slightly slow walking, needed extra help with reading, and worked with the elementary school reading specialist from kindergarten through third grade. He was witty, likable, athletic, and played piano beautifully, so I never imagined his processing speed could be as severe as the sixth percentile.I understand now that talking about his struggles is not complaining or playing the victim. It’s how he manages his energy and helps others understand what he needs, especially because no one really knows what a processing speed deficit is. Jokes about being airheaded or saying he’s smart and doesn’t need to talk about it dismiss his efforts and the hard work it took to get where he is. Listening, validating, and giving space to share his reality is what truly helps him thrive.I wish I had listened sooner. My guilt taught me to reflect, but it also made it hard to hear him. I now see that compassion, patience, and acknowledgment of his challenges are what he needs, not dismissal. Talking about processing speed and executive function struggles is not weakness. It is strategy, self-awareness, and strength. #slowprocessingspeed #processingdefecit