I have been with my husband for 25 years, married 23. our communication sucks, but we muttle through. (both to blame)
After a huge argument this weekend, we called a truece, but somehow he got on the subject of me not having friends to do things with, because, after all,
I Am UNAPPROACHABLE!
I chuckled because I feel I can be but it is situational.
I didn't know where he was going with this but, this is what he said:
I am to quick to judge,
I size up people on my first impression 🤔, if someone wrongs me I don't give them a second chance.
to those things I say "So what is the problem"?
My defense: when I feel threatened my guard is up, when my guard is up I observe my surroundings and close up shop. This is around the people HE chooses to be around, if I want to spend time with him, it is with some of these people if it's a social event. His one "friend" is a total dick. Second time meeting him was at a bar, after he and my husband had been there all day doing a BBQ contest. I came in, after trying to reach my husband for a couple hours. my husband apologized for not having his phone up, but the friend, as soon as my husband walked away, proceeded to tell me what a bitch I am, and berated me for about 5 minutes until I just started balling and ran outside. When my husband came out I told him what happen, he went in and made the jerk apologize, but little things always happened. This guy always spoke under his breath, and if I couldn't hear him, it would be well I'm not talking to you then am I!
this is one example of many over the years.
But what I asked my husband was...
You are aware that i suffer from axiety, bipolar, depression, social anxiety, but always blame me for things that happen when we are out. why can't you be on my side, EVER? why do you stand behind me but won't open your mouth and support me. why do I always have to watch what I say, and who I say it to!!!! but anyone of them can say shit to me!!! BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU WONT SUPPORT ME!!!!
He says well maybe someone is having a bad day, maybe they had a death in the family etc... always makes excuses for other people behaviour but won't help me!!! Fuck ! ! !
it's funny, because I get told all the time, in my work, or around people I know that I'm such a nice person, and have a beautiful smile!
#unapproachable