TRIGGER! As I sit here at 12:30 am , my thought process is, how I’m embarrassed to admit (family, friends, you ) I seem to be going into the hospital more and more. I was in from Sept -Dec, then Mar-Apr and before Sept a 4mth stay. My good days are far and few in between. I went to Emergency, two days ago, oh Yhea! Had to wait 7hrs, because MENTAL ILLNESS is not taken seriously enough, I was in tears. The only way i can see my pdoc(psychiatrist) on a daily basis, is to be admitted, I hate it....My next appt. is June 20th, too long to wait. I fear the worse as my thought process is in dangerous waters, negative mode and I’m very impulsive.

I started the pill form of ketamine, (while in the hospital)it was a miracle, my suicide ideation lifted in one day and depression in three, I’ve never had either or lift so quick. The sad part, it only lasted six weeks. I’m going to try to get the Ketamine infusion, at “The Canadian rapid training centre of excellence” CRTCE in Toronto. The infusion goes directly to the brain, where the pill form has to go through all other organs before it reaches the brain, so this means a very very small part of the pill hits the brain. I believe Ketamine is the next best thing to meds and ECTs. Wishing me brighter days ahead! Thanks for reading. ...... ##brighterdaysahead #keeponfighting