Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

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Paralysis, again

Yesterday I found out that I could also freeze while standing up…

I was overwhelmed and wanted to go to the medical office.
But I froze infront of the door dor 10 minutes complete paralysis.
It took me 20 minutes to reach the call button and push it.
My legs trembled and shook

A nurse came and gave me ammonia to smell (which helped on Friday where I was frozen completly for one and a half hour…).
It was so strange talking to her while I couldn’t move my legs as they trembled and shook.
The ammonia worked but afterwards I had an asthamatic attack, which wasn’t so enjoyable…

I told a nurse and she said to buy an spiky metal ball. I hope it can help, as my skills are slowly dwindling…

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #SocialAnxiety #Catatonia #FND

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Paralysis, again

Yesterday I found out that I could also freeze while standing up…

I was overwhelmed and wanted to go to the medical office.
But I froze infront of the door dor 10 minutes complete paralysis.
It took me 20 minutes to reach the call button and push it.
My legs trembled and shook

A nurse came and gave me ammonia to smell (which helped on Friday where I was frozen completly for one and a half hour…).
It was so strange talking to her while I couldn’t move my legs as they trembled and shook.
The ammonia worked but afterwards I had an asthamatic attack, which wasn’t so enjoyable…

I told a nurse and she said to buy an spiky metal ball. I hope it can help, as my skills are slowly dwindling…

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #SocialAnxiety #Catatonia #FND

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I hate my appearance. I have been called ugly and rejected my whole life by men i thought were attractive. I never had a kiss or even a boyfriend

When I was in school even in college, there were boys being rude to me & I was bullied. All the men I liked throughout my life made comments about the way I look and they were very attractive men. I am diagnosed with Schizophrenia Bipolar. I stay home and don’t do much because I have had so many people be rude to me especially men. When I was younger my cousin put on pornography in front of me and yes I do watch porn. I used to pose as other girls online and men would be so nice to me and when I showed them a real picture of me; I get shrugged off or even blocked. I was in and out of mental hospitals, self harmed, suicidal thoughts, several different diagnoses. I do consider myself different and a child of special needs. I almost got attacked in school by men too for no reason like they wanted to beat me up. I am close to 30, a virgin and never had a good looking attractive man ask me out or give me the time of the day. It makes me feel bad about myself like I am not pretty or good enough because I have been called ugly so many times and no men that I ever liked pay interest in me. My nationality is Guyanese (West Indian). It sucks that I was made this way but hey I guess they say looks aren’t everything.

#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Selfharm #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Disability #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Psychosis #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression

That is me in the picture :/

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What is it like for you being a long way from home, and it's pouring down outside, and you are in the car with the windows rolled up?

For me, I can deal with it around the city if I am close to my house, but if it happens at night unexpectedly, I have minor panic attacks, I have to try to keep myself calm or just get off the expressway and pull to a gas station or something. I have a pet peeve about having trash of any sort, even mud in the car on the floor, and it's raining outside, makes me just want to jump out of the car so my cars are spic and span clean 90% of the time. It could be because my biological mom was a clean freak growing up, every day mopping the floors, etc. #CPTSD #PTSD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma

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What is it like for you being a long way from home, and it's pouring down outside, and you are in the car with the windows rolled up?

For me, I can deal with it around the city if I am close to my house, but if it happens at night unexpectedly, I have minor panic attacks, I have to try to keep myself calm or just get off the expressway and pull to a gas station or something. I have a pet peeve about having trash of any sort, even mud in the car on the floor, and it's raining outside, makes me just want to jump out of the car so my cars are spic and span clean 90% of the time. It could be because my biological mom was a clean freak growing up, every day mopping the floors, etc. #CPTSD #PTSD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma

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What is it like for you physically shopping at the grocery store?

For me I get overwhelmed if there are too many people in there. I try to shop either online for groceries or off-peak times, like early in the morning or later a night a couple of hours before closing. #CPTSD #PTSD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Trauma #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

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What is it like for you physically shopping at the grocery store?

For me I get overwhelmed if there are too many people in there. I try to shop either online for groceries or off-peak times, like early in the morning or later a night a couple of hours before closing. #CPTSD #PTSD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Trauma #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

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Good morning, Saturday, November 8th

People living with CPTSD are survivors of deep trauma, let’s honor their emotional space without intrusion.

Today’s challenge: Find a safe place to walk barefoot outside for 5–30 minutes #CPTSD #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #MentalHealth #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

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Good morning, Saturday, November 8th

People living with CPTSD are survivors of deep trauma, let’s honor their emotional space without intrusion.

Today’s challenge: Find a safe place to walk barefoot outside for 5–30 minutes #CPTSD #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #MentalHealth #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

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Still awake

I woke around 3:20 am as my roommate was calling someone as she was awake…
She fell asleep pretty quickly.
After fourty minutes of worrying in bed,
I got up and read some poetry, then changed the side of my bed to fall asleep.
But I’m still awake…

It’s currently 5:30 am.
I’m dead tired but too wired to fall asleep.
So for now I’m just laying here staring at the wall…
Hope I can get some sleep as I need to wake up at 8:30 to 9:00.

We‘ll see…

#MentalHealth #Insomnia #SocialAnxiety #Depression #CPTSD

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