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Can a person with #DissociativeIdentityDisorder live a normal life?

Disassociative Identity Disorder is the
chameleon of mental illnesses.

Its sole purpose is to allow the host to live a normal life.

You can’t live a normal life if at an early age thedeveloping brain is constantly switching, or is occupied by the trauma memories.

You’ve all kept a secret to protect a loved one, correct?

DID is just that. It’s a protective shield.V6

With DID, comes amnesia - a total or partial loss in memory.

Often the individual will remember their abuse, but will have no feelings attached to the memories. They may notice their behaviour, actions and mood shifting, however, to them, this is normal -

“Everyone experiences mood swings, so what?”

“We all have a bubbly and assertive side, right?”

You make excuses for yourself.

You know there’s something not quite right with you, but you can’t figure it out.

You ignore the red flags.

Sometimes it’s better to be left in the dark, to not know.

But with one trigger, that could all change.

Once you find out about your DID, the amnesic barriers slowly begin to break, never entirely, but piece by piece.

The host, the identity which may or may not be the core, the identity which is meant to be left in the dark, slowly gathers information from the internal world.

The voices which communicate within, the other alters, who will not actively choose to expose themselves without an intense trigger, start learning about one another.

For the person with DID, this feels like a re-birth, but an excruciatingly difficult one.

Years of not being able to answer the question, “who are you?”, slowly begins to make sense, although the journey for the person with DID never stops.

How hard is it for you, as one identity, to figure out who you are and what you stand for?

Let’s try to imagine that times 3, times 10, times 100+.

The person with DID is not meant to know for this particular reason.


Bully for you

After an exchange, following a post elsewhere on the site, I felt compelled to post on the subject of bullying. A lot of standup comedians in the UK, said that they started their careers after being bullied at school and turning into the class clown to disarm such attacks. This reminded me of the Roger Corman film, The Sorcerers, starring Boris Karloff and Vincent Price as waring warlocks. In one scene the former fires a cannon ball at the later, who immediately turns it into a bunch of flowers.

We need to disarm attacks but that means changing the situation into a less threatening one, through humour or not taking it seriously.

I once delivered leaflets for a supermarket and one of the lads once threw a plastic container at me, to which I quipped, I didn't know you had the bottle (it was plastic, so not dangerous). For years I have had to put up with verbal abuse by smart arse youths, who think I am effeminate I suppose (wolf whistles and rude gestures and suggestions). I don't see myself as they see me, so don't know how I look to them, when walking but needless to say I hate it and only have avoided it by living in big towns. It is country bumpkins, who seem to have the edge on this attitude and why I hated where I came from for that reason hate it here and the last place we lived

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Autism, A New Approach

Seeing a report about a Dr Vermeulen's approach to autism is interesting from several angles. Firstly, it points out the need to approach the situation from an insider perspective, rather than an outsider one.

The trouble with modern medicine is that it believes in intervention, in all things. By this I mean its attitude is to charge in and attack the problem, hoping to destroy its hold on life (suppression of symptoms). This way of handling things in America, is reflected in the gun mortality rates as well as health care based on money, rather than community.

If The USA cannot treat its ordinary citizens with respect, how well can outsiders like us expect to be handled, especially when there is a medical movement, out to find the gene responsible for autism, so that they can wipe us off the face of the Earth? In Okinawa, Japan they treat their elders with respect and they can live to over a hundred. In The UK we toss our old people into care homes and then wonder why they turn into vegetables and die early?

In Europe there is a more humane approach to people, personified by Dr Vermeulen and Marius Romme a Dutch psychiatrist, who tries to integrate schizophrenics voices, so that their personality is not at war with itself. As Jo points out in her article 'us and them' is a divisive mentality that only makes relations worse in any situation. As Mary Beard, the historian, pointed out in a recent edition of The BBC History magazine – the real reason The Roman Empire grew so big, was that it was an inclusive society, that took in all waifs and strays, giving them citizenship for their loyalty.

The problem has been up to now that ordinary people have tried to hammer us round pegs into their square holes and expect us to fit. In 'The A Word' on BBC 1, Tuesdays, 9pm we see a child reacting to the hostility or friendliness of people around them, becoming more normal when respected and trying to shut out the hostile world, when treated with disrespect. If they want us to integrate and fit in, like Dr Vermeulen says, they need to accept us for what we are warts and all. It is all about being wanted and this includes the question of suppression of speech or being (abortion, child abuse, murder and war). It is only by doing this that we will relax and become who they want, rather than be on our guard eternally, against the enemy at the gate, trying to bash down our castle walls and get in. Let us mend ourselves from within and meet the neuro-typical world half way.

A depressed autistic person is as helpless as anyone else in that position but a happy person can help themselves out of the well of isolation they've fallen into.

Fear makes us want to conform and enforce conformity on others. To overcome prejudice we must accept our differences and even enjoy exploring them, in a mutual exchange with the rest of the world (learn and teach). We must grow like anything living thing does (evolve out of our shell), not be forced into a mould or clipped back, to fulfill an idea of beauty and perfection that is not real and will not last. The only constant in the universe is change and we must not only change ourselves but belong to a world that changes and grows with us.

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Another book #PTSD #Bipolar2 #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

I was at Barnes and Noble and I came across this book. I still feel ashamed about what happened. Hopefully it will somehow help me. The author also experienced abuse growing up.

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Wow! Am I struggling with trauma.

The last 2 years has possibly been the hardest 2 years in my life due to being a former smoker trapped in a smoke saturated environment as an older person. Gaslighting by officials; with abuse and lack of caring by neighbors. #justsaying

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is chentex. I'm here because I am a victim of clergy abuse under the care of a trauma specialist and I am interested in learning all I can and involving myself where I can make a positive impact for the greater good.


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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Ascending_Lotus. I'm here because I’m a survivor of childhood abuse, DV, PTSD and family estrangement.

I’m in recovery for anxiety, depression and insomnia. I’m neurodivergent.

#Anxiety #Depression #PTSD

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Post-traumatic stress disorder and sleep

#Insomnia #CBT #PTSD

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) is characterized by a chronically heightened state of arousal after a traumatic event. PTSD often gets worse over time or develops insidiously, so that people may not realize they have it until many months after the traumatic event. The disease is more common in women, though it can happen to anybody. An estimated seven people out of 100 will experience PTSD during their lifetime.

PTSD and sleep have a complex relationship. Though sleep problems accompany many mental health conditions, sleep problems in PTSD are actually considered part of the disorder. Among the symptoms used to diagnose PTSD, two are directly related to sleep: hyperarousal and intrusion, which can manifest as insomnia and nightmares. Researchers are still trying to understand whether sleep problems precede PTSD or whether PTSD causes sleep problems.

Individuals with PTSD frequently have trouble falling asleep and awaken easily, often waking up many times throughout the night. Many people with PTSD also have nightmares. These issues result in disrupted, non-refreshing sleep.

Those with chronic pain, substance abuse, traumatic brain injury, depression or other medical problems face an additional barrier to getting quality sleep. Certain sleep medications also interfere with REM sleep, which is the sleep stage during which we dream and an important sleep stage for dealing with traumatic memories.

You can refer to this:


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Alien Abduction Blues, A Short Story (Part One)

They're coming for me - I know it! I can feel it in every fibre of my being. It's those eyes - they're staring at me with intent again, from wherever they really exist.

Nobody believes me of course. This is Britain. This kind of thing doesn't happen here. Even the psychiatrist doesn't believe me (paranoid delusions, in his opinion) but at least he listens - that's what he's paid for. I don't want to go back inside, so I'm careful what I say nowadays and who to. It's alright talking about it on UFO forums (Thank God for the internet!) but in public, no way.

People think it's only in your dreams - if only they knew! You can't get away from them; they are with you when you sleep; they are with you when awake, continually monitoring your reactions, continually feeding your mind with ideas. They feed off your emotions. They measure your reactions. They tell you how 'special' you are. They promise you everything and deliver nothing: You will rule the world one day, they tell you - then at night, oh my God at night...

I'm not sure which is worse - being treated like an animal, a piece of meat at night or being mentally manipulated during the day. Go there. Do this. Meet this person. And you do it, like some living psychic nightmare, in which you are hypnotised to obey, to believe. To start relationships that tear you apart emotionally as at night they tear your body apart, just as callously. Is there no way out of this living hell? Some experiencers say you never escape, even after death. Some contactees say you can't. Like Shaman, they believe death is not the end and that this is some grotesque initiation ceremony - a cosmic joke, if only you could see the funny side of it: Sorry I can't.

And what of the future? Isn't that what hell is? A never ending story of perdition, personified - where you are puppets of a greater force than you are.

Where shall I begin? Where did 'it' begin? I always assumed it was something that happened at puberty, when the sexual humiliation began. It felt as sexy as a cow being milked. It was like being in a hospital - row upon row of shuffling naked humanity, going towards white tables, like moulded plastic, which seemed to grow out of the floor like toadstools but not separate from the floor they were on.

Some struggled against it, being floated to the tables as we had all been floated to wherever it was we were now. Then the four fingered hand would go on the brow and those large, black, gecko eyes would take over, emptying the mind of everything but a sense of peace and blissful emptiness. Slowly the process would begin, of sucking sperm from the paralysed body or harvesting eggs from the female.

'Beats working for a living' one man quipped, mind to mind.

'How can you think like that!' I thought back at him.

'Take it easy. What can you do about it anyway?'

He was right of course. What could we do? Victims all. Could this be where ritual and sexual abuse came from originally?

The minor operations to put implants in, I could stand, even though it marked us out as 'owned' - traceable cattle, they could monitor and track. The gut wrenching surgical processes were something else: Is this what it is like in an operating theatre; only without the luxury of being unconscious, if they pull out your eyes, cut open your stomach and pull out your internal organs or scoop out your brain, like a soft boiled egg? Now I know how my dog felt, when I callously tossed it into the vets, to be done because that is what I wanted. I can still see the look of terror on her face. Is this what Auschwitz was like?

'What am I doing here? What's going on? Why have you abandoned me, my supposedly loving master?'

Why indeed? I'd never do it again, not now.

According to shamanism, this is symbolic dismemberment. Symbolic!?! They should be here! Still, maybe they were...

Sometimes I'd remember what happened - other times I wouldn't. I'd be asleep in bed and it was like I was a baby again and my mother was picking me up from my cot but I was actually floating out of bed and drifting through the closed window, like it wasn't there. I'd tell myself it was just a dream but I couldn't do that when I found myself outside, after the event was over cold, shivering, naked or partially clothed. My mother told me once that I often sleep walked as a child and she'd find me asleep in the morning, in all kinds of weird places in the house or out buildings. That she could understand but was mystified by where I got the strange clothes, I sometimes was dressed in, when she found me.

'That's not your brother's or your father's - it looks foreign to me, not British.'

At this point the childhood memories started to flood back. The meetings in the woods, after school with 'them.' The other strange kids that appeared out of nowhere, to join me there. The lessons we were taught were about reality and our lives to come, our place in the universe and much more besides...

In adulthood these episodes equated with missing time. I'd find myself in strange places 'after' and have no idea how I got there or look at my watch, thinking two minutes had passed, when in fact it was two hours. Sometimes though it was like being set up to 'be' somewhere specific or meet someone 'special.' I'd just have this irresistible impulse to go somewhere and when I'd arrived it would just disappear. I'd see or find what I was sent there for or meet someone, who'd tell me something 'I needed to know.' All very cloak and dagger. Sometimes it would be a book I needed to read. More maddening were the cruel relationships, set up for you. They'd throw you in at the deep end, with some girl you'd never seen before, then split you up and spit you out as though it a never happened. To me at least, this emotional trauma was worse than anything they did to me physically but both forms of abuse left you scarred. At least with arranged marriages, you get to stay with he other person for life. This was like having a baby, then having it wrenched away from you and yes, they did that to the offspring they created. Too women have told me this same, horrific story, for it not to be true. Sometimes they let them keep the results of these unions but it was always for their reasons, not as an act of mercy. Occasionally these implanted children, didn't come to fruition, thankfully...

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Yesterday therapy session #Bipolar2 #PTSD with #Psychosis #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

So, I had my virtual appointment yesterday we discussed my abuse and we invited my mom to our session for 5 minutes. She said we should have gotten her help when she was released from the psychiatric hospital when was released. She also said I was the only who believed her. She said she doesn’t have contact with my abuser. So I called her out by saying really did u or did you not go to your grandson’s graduation party. I told her I don’t forgive you. She left after that. I got new diagnosis. I have PTSD with psychotic features, #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder along with my #Bipolar2 . I’m not happy with the psychotic features part

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