Abuse

The Devil is doing his mighty best to get me down further than I've ever been. And I've was just a shell of a person when I got away from my very abusive ex. But this is different.

My depression is lasting longer and I feel more severe. When I get too upset or or feel like I've done wrong; I apologize but my mind goes into my "other personality" (not diagnosed but in my head I become who my ex turned me into; THAT me had to deal with every type of abuse, and I believe it's my brain trying to protect me. However; that me; wants to die! And the last few months I was with him I would wake up praying, "God, please let this day be the day help don't get here in time and he kills me, I can't handle anymore. Every night I'd pray for God to take me in my sleep.

Anyway, I have been waiting to get into the place I got help several years ago for 6 weeks now. Originally I was told the wait list was around 2 weeks. Then a month! I am beyond frustrated. I gotta call in every Wednesday and I will tomorrow. Last week I asked how many more ahead of me. The lady who answered didn't know. Tomorrow I'm not sure I can hold my tongue. I SO SO want to tell them to go *U*K themselves, but as a Christian lady, I know I won't. But, I'm gonna ask to speak with someone in charge.
Okay, also I have really been looking forward to going to see my son and his high-school sweetheart at 11 years on Sunday. Making it "our Thanksgiving ". Although we had planned to go for Chinese Buffet. 😋
My son finally got his identity straightened out and got a job and will be working Sunday. Plus I signed up for a Thanksgiving meal for 2 box and pick that up Saturday. Now, I'm not even sure I have a ride now. This morning I borrowed my friends car to go to the next town over hoping to see Momma (a different very long story) but couldn't. So I went to my Storage (also used by my son) to pick up a few things and came back. I had made me a smoothie of strawberries, blueberries, honey and Flavored antioxidant filled coconut water. Well, thinking I wanted to save the rest for in the morning I unscrewed the bottom of my mini blender! I'M AN IDIOT 🤣! I knew better!! Unscrewing the bottom and ... there is no other bottom. So dark berry juice and yumminess went splashing down my sweater front, jeans, white Nikes and over almost everything a good foot distance around me! After thinking ... I'm an idiot, I tell myself, Guess I'm not saving it for the morning! After that's cleaned up is when I find out I might not have a ride to go visit my son. THEN... my friend brings me the laptop that (had been delivered earlier) momma got me so I can finish writing my book. I was a good girl and finished doing what I was doing (dusting) then sat down to open it. First thing I see is that the screen has many scuff marks (scratches), and I'm thinking; they have got to be kidding. Cause it looks like a used one. But I take it out and find the instruction sheet. They sent a kids tablet! Looks the same, definitely not the 128 GB ordered.
BUT; before I got out of that toxic horrible relationship I thought God wasn't answering my prayers. Later on I realized he had been answering them, just not how I hoped. Instead of my life ending by my Ex or God calling me home, he answered by: Making me strong enough to endure. I had told him ...
"I'm can't take no more, I need help, I have no life left in me" . He gave me the strength and I made a TRUE friend that had once been a stranger.

Thank you for reading this long winded rant. I could go on but I've complained enough.

Stay strong

Hi, my name is Bobba44.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Abuse

Hi, my name is maxamillion4916. I'm here because I'm looking for information on sexual abuse.

#MightyTogether

Hi, my name is DeepinHuniBeez6. I want to

Talk about sexual abuse of the male child by his Mother/Sister who is the adult. I'm now 43 but was abused from 3 until 26. And I have serious issues and need to release and heal. Nobody in my family will help because Many of them have and still accept and in some ways want the wrongs to continue.

To destroy someone's property and yell down the entire street with the door open over the smell of Leaves, I got a 12 dollar candle pretty much the only thing I got for myself, and this ensued about three days ago, had a breakdown at the grocery store cause I'm broke, and a 24 dollar bottle of PJ's fell n broke before I got it home, all in all 36 dollars, I'm so tired I'm discouraged to caregive, then last night he yelled at my kid hyperly and loudly about Trump, talking fast for an hour, plus there was such a big mess multiple times each day, and so much loud tv shit and organic sugarless baking that its making me sick, my kid yelled at me a tiny bit, I feel like not eating for weeks, and its interfering with my caregiving, I have no one to call but to walk to the cops, and an appointment once a week, can't afford almost anything and must pay my credit minimums, dear God please get me through, do you want suicide stats and advocacy again, cause its pointless, I have my dogs, thanks, just down, and I have food, thanks

I'm sorry, I'm not a native English speaker, but I wanna share with someone my thoughts and emotions about having BPD.
I'm trying hard to become more stable. Unfortunately, I can't get the psychotherapy for a lot of reasons.
I guess it's going more easy to handle with as I getting older. But I can't love. I feel so fragile. It's always the story about me black and white thoughts because of my fear of abandonment and abuse in my past. I don't know. This text is not complicated topic. But I guess, it's not bad. For a first time.
Thank you

I have been married for nearly a decade, I have an 8-year-old daughter, and my husband's routine involves paying for naked women to view them nude on various chat applications. This behavior originated at the onset of change, the last instance he hit me was a year ago regarding the same issue.

He told me that time that the cause of his actions was due to my touching his phone, my going through apps to monitor him, if i do this again and check on him, it will be the end of us, then he will divorce me verbally and send me back to my parents’ home, and will hit me much more than previously, humiliating me in front of his entire family and will mistreat me in front of everyone in the house.

They never accepted me when I subtly indicated to my parents that I didn’t want to stay with this guy. They claimed we couldn't pay for you, your daughter, and her tuition, and they advised me to handle my issues and adjust to living a married life. I shared these details with my mother-in-law, and she repeated the same things to me.

I believed he would grow up to be a good person and a good Muslim as time passed, but I was mistaken. Whenever I inquired about his behavior, asking him why he felt the need to act this way, I reminded him that I am his wife and pleaded with him not to betray me. I expressed these feelings repeatedly, but he responded with abuse. He physically tortured and struck me, sometimes using his hands, other times a wire or piece of wood. I have evidence of explicit conversations and proof of when he harmed me. I hoped he would become a changed man.

Divorce documents were obtained through corruption for a reason; he wanted to go to America. He contracted a marriage with her boss, and they needed to create fake divorce papers for us through bribery, as in America, only one wife is recognized.

I have a friend in Canada who can offer me a job and a place to stay. I’m unsure about how to reach there stealthily, so I need to find job application links, resources that can help me secure a visa, and assist in my travel plans. Currently, I have no money or financial backing.

I have two months to find a way out of here; I can get away during that period, or it will be too late as my in-laws are covering the costs of my IVF treatment. A transfer is planned for two months from now, and I have frozen eggs stored at that hospital. I no longer desire that since I prefer not to remain here. I can't inform his parents because they have already spent 23 lacs on my treatment/process, they want me to conceive through IVF. If I don't want to be with this guy, why should I undergo IVF? I'm scared to reveal this truth to anyone as no one would comprehend my situation.