Another great and challenging day ( longer rambling then usual )
Every morning I feel compelled to come on this site to check on everyone. Some are making big strides in “ conquering the mind”. We have some talented members on here who are extremely helpful. There are members who give great advice to help those that are in crisis mode. One thing I’ve noticed with a lot of our members is a lot of problems actually started during their Childhood due to the abuse of parents or family members. There are no “Quick cures” for the deep embedded problems. We can be all ears and just help by being there and be a listening post. This is not from “ book experience “ but from being a abused person myself. Yes, I was a hard teenager to raise so I take some of the responsibility. Yes, I took my daily butt beatings daily from my dad until I finally had enough and put a beating on him. That made him quit. My last night I ever spent in the “ family home “ I had pissed my mother off by “ tapping” my younger brother on the head after he continuesly kept changing the channel from the show I was watching. My younger brother was and still is referred to as the “ Golden Child”. My mother believed he was the reincarnation of Stephen. ( my brother who died at 3 days old) who my mother who continually would tell me she wished it was me who died instead of him. After I tapped my brother, I was escorted out the front door with a kitchen steak knife poking me in the back by my mother. That was the very last night I spent in the family home. I worked nights at a local Gas station pumping gas and lived in a run down studio pay by the week type of place and finished up my senior year of highschool. The only ones to come to my graduation was my soon to be wife and her parents. I honestly had nothing. Just a few pair of clothes and 1 pair of shoes. College was just a dream. I married my wife almost a month after highschool. Then I joined the Army as I had a wife and a expected baby on the way. Yes, I can still remember those nights of being hungry, depressed, but I was glad to be out of that house. I went almost 20 years without seeing or hearing from either of my parents. I finally forgave both of them but no, I’ll never forget. My Dad passed away a few years ago due to a traffic accident and I flew up there to see him before he died. I didn’t go to his funeral. My mother and I have not spoken in probably 5-6 years and when she passes I will not attend her funeral as well. ( she’s been moved up close to the ( Golden Child’s house) and spending her remaining time in a nursing home. After 8 years in the Army I got out and was working 2 jobs and going to college and raising my family. Thankfully I had a strong wife who was my rock. After I got my degree, I finally had time to take a breath. Yes I finally found a career where I could actually succeed in life, as well as a career I loved. So no, a lot of advice I give is from my personal life. I hate seeing others going through what I went through. I now look around and see what I was blessed with and still remember the days of 2 pairs of pants and 1 pair of worn out shoes. It by itself humbles me and keeps me “grounded”. I’ll just add that my past enhanced my formal education. So when I give advice, it’s a combination of both my life with a little bit of education thrown in. I’ll add that the next 1-2 weeks will be hectic around here as my wife’s cousin is on his way to his new beginnings and dealing with what we will do for my wife’s mother. If you’ve read this far, your really bored or a Saint lol. I wish all of you a beautiful and blessed day. Stay positive!….David