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I don’t get love from my parents. All they do is feed me pills to keep me stable. I have always been bullied and rejected. I feel like no one relates to me because I have been in and out of mental hospitals. It started when I was 9 years old and now I am 27, still seeking mental help but haven’t improved at all. I have always been left out and by myself. I feel like a failure and not good enough. I am not one of the drop dead gorgeous girls that men run after. I never even had one good looking man ask me out to eat and all the boys I ever liked said I was ugly or rejected me. I feel like I don’t get treated good sometimes, I want to be treated better and be more important. I would cut myself all over my arm. It gets to the point that therapy doesn’t even help because what can I do if people are treating me this way? I don’t like the way I look either. I don’t fit in with society at all, I rather be on my own anyways.

#MentalHealth #Disability #CheckInWithMe #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #Psychosis #PanicAttacks #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Depression #Selfharm #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #Anxiety #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2 #BipolarDisorder #BriefPsychoticDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

Or it's supposed to be. I might put my clothes in the bag and get it ready for Sunday. That's if my body stops acting up and behaves.

I'm making myself a pot of coffee. I'll mix it with mud wtr and salted caramel syrup and oat milk like I always do. I think I need new flavors of coffee. I should probably go simple and get a French vanilla or caramel macchiato. I've been getting complex flavors for years. But sometimes simple things are wonderful.

I'm getting 5 packages in the mail today. I love getting packages. It feels like Christmas. I'll share pictures of what I am getting. It's very exciting.

Oh yeah. I made progress last weekend. My girlfriend was out camping with her boyfriend and I didn't have FOMO. I forgot to post that. I talked with my therapist yesterday and he reminded me about it and said he was proud of me.

My ex girlfriend... I haven't talked to her in almost a week. She was rude to me and I was just like well ok be a bitch I don't need to stick my hands in a beehive. I'm letting her fail on her own. I tried helping her and she did fuck all to help herself. I'm closing that chapter of my life. It is sad but it was inevitable.

I've been playing with Meta AI. I got some really nice pictures of an aardwolf puppy. I've also gotten some really good advice with health and relationship support.

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