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13 Things People With Anxiety Are Tired of Hearing, and What You Can Say Instead


People who live with anxiety often have the pleasure of hearing unsolicited advice and words of wisdom from others. Even when people have the best intentions, this can be somewhat annoying. The Mighty decided to ask people who live with anxiety two things: 1) What’s something you’re tired of hearing? And 2) What’s something you’d like to hear from others?

Here’s what they had to say: 

1. Don’t say: You can’t control what is going to happen, so why are you anxious about it?

Instead, try this: “I understand that you are anxious because you can’t control this situation, but maybe you could try to focus your energy on what you can control.”

Meme that says [I understand that you are anxious because you can't control this situation, but maybe you could try to focus your energy on what you can control.]

2. Don’t say: What do you have to be anxious about?

Instead, try this: “Wow. You’re suffering from anxiety disorder? What exactly is that for you, and what does it mean to be anxious?”

Meme that says [Wow. You're suffering from anxiety disorder? What exactly is that for you, and what does it mean to be anxious?]

3. Don’t say: Get over it.

Instead, try this: “Are you OK?”

Meme that says [are you OK?]

4. Don’t say: It’s all in your head.” 

Instead, try this: “I’m here for you with whatever you need right now.”

Meme that says [I'm here for you with whatever you need right now.]

5. Don’t say: It’s not that big of a deal. Stop worrying too much.” 

Instead, try this: “What can I do to help?”

Meme that says [What can I do to help?"]

6. Don’t say: Don’t worry, things will turn out fine.

Instead, try this: “It will pass. Just keep breathing.”

Meme that says [It will pass. Just keep breathing.]

7. Don’t say: Just trust God. You should have more faith.

Instead, try this: “I’m sorry you are struggling with this.”

Meme that says [I'm sorry you are struggling with this.]

8. Don’t say: You don’t know what will happen so stop freaking out about it.” 

Instead, try this: “It sounds like you’re having a hard time. I’m here if you want to talk, or I’ll just stay with you.”

Meme that says [It sounds like you're having a hard time. I'm here if you want to talk, or I'll just stay with you.]

9. Don’t say: It’s all in your head.”

Instead, try this: “It’s OK to feel this way.”

Meme that says [It's OK to feel this way.]

10. Don’t say: I know, I worry about things too.

Instead, try this: “I don’t know how you feel right now, but I can tell you’re overwhelmed. What can I do for you, or do you need me to do anything?”

Meme that says [I don't know how you feel right now, but I can tell you're overwhelmed. What can I do for you, or do you need me to do anything?]

11. Don’t say: It could be worse.

Instead, try this: “Just don’t give up.”

Meme that says [Just don't give up.]

12. Don’t say: Think happy thoughts.

Instead, try this: “That’s got to be tough.”

Meme that says [That's got to be tough.]

13. Don’t say: Just calm down.

Instead, try this: “What do you need?”

Meme that says [It may have conquered my body, but it shall not have my soul or my mind. Those remain mine.]

What do you like to hear when you’re dealing with anxiety? Let us know in the comment below.  

Related: 31 Secrets of People Who Live With Anxiety 

For more resources on anxiety disorders, or for more information about getting help, visit Mental Health America.



13 Things People With Anxiety Are Tired of Hearing, and What You Can Say Instead