To the Woman Who Asked Us, ‘Do You Want a Normal Child Now?’

To the woman who asked us, “Do you want a normal child now?”

Your question implies our experience raising a daughter with Turner syndrome is in some way unsuccessful or unsatisfying.

While still pregnant, I listened to my doctor explain each part of our daughter’s body that was “abnormal” and cried heavy, painful tears. As I explained to the doctor that termination wasn’t in the cards for me, I shook with fear. As I handed my newborn daughter to the surgeon to perform her heart procedure, I begged God to watch over her and guide the surgeons. When I heard her labored breathing after surgery, I prayed for strength and for peace.

But when I heard the simple question you posed, my heart sank into a deep, dark place — a place where my deepest fears reside.

My daughter’s life is nothing short of a miracle, a word reserved for only the greatest successes. She was born defying odds. She made it to term and delivery. She survived heart surgery at 4 days old. She endured multiple complications and sailed through them all. She learned to breastfeed at 2 months old. She learned to roll and sit and eat and showed the world exactly how strong she is. All the while she has showed us we have nothing to worry about. She is beautiful, strong and can do whatever she wants.

But the fear deep inside my heart surfaced when you asked me if I wanted a “normal” child. I hoped with my whole heart the world would never fail to see our darling girl just as she is.

The truth is my daughter is perfect. She is my greatest source of pride, strength, joy and love. My daughter thinks, feels, laughs, smiles, cries, learns, grows, eats, poops, coos, babbles and loves just like every other “normal” baby out there.

So to the woman who asked me if I want a “normal” baby, I want you to know this: I adore my daughter with or without her missing chromosome, and I’m completely satisfied with my perfect little family.

I’ve never wanted anything more than that.

young girl sitting outside and smiling

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Turner Syndrome

Tot With Down Syndrome Goes From Orphanage to Modeling For Target

Kayella Aschoff is the new face of up & up Training Pants, on shelves in Target stores. Courtesy Jodi Aschoff The 4-year-old, who lives in Minnesota with her parents, Ted and Jodi Aschoff, has Down syndrome and was adopted from Colombia in 2011. Courtesy Jodi Aschoff The Aschoffs didn’t originally plan to adopt a child with special [...]

The 2 Words I Don’t Use When I Talk About My ALS

I recently spoke to a few people with ALS who all said, “I’m dying,” at some point during our conversation. I understood. They were recently diagnosed, trying to make sense of a sudden, terrible loss of control over their lives, their futures. To say “I’m dying” can be a way to acknowledge what is happening, [...]

This Top Autism Blogger Just Revealed His True Identity

Since April 2011, the “Autism Daddy” blog has anonymously shared photos and stories on Facebook and on the Autism Daddy website. Now, after more than four years, “Autism Daddy” has decided to reveal his identity. In a post published on his page on Sunday, September 27, he revealed himself as a 45-year-old man named Frank [...]

22 Truths People Affected by Sensory Processing Disorder Wish Others Understood

Sensory processing disorder (SPD) is a condition that exists when sensory signals don’t get organized into appropriate responses. A person with SPD may find it difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which can make performing everyday tasks more challenging. A 2009 research study by the Sensory Processing Disorder Scientific Work [...]