To the Woman Who Warned Our Town About the 'Scary' Trick-or-Treater

To the woman who posted this on my town’s Facebook page:

“Scary adult looking guy trick or treating with a Michael Myers outfit holding a huge fake knife!! He is by himself. Terrifying!!”

That’s my boy you’re talking about. 

While I did respond to your comment on the page with all the dignity and grace I could muster, it hasn’t really left me. My son was trick-or-treating in a costume during regular trick-or-treating hours. (The post appeared before 8 p.m.) He did exactly what other trick-or-treaters did – rang the bell, said, “Trick-or treat” and left. He didn’t do anything bad or wrong. We got him a good costume – a costume, you know, like what you wear on Halloween? Yes, he’s older than the average trick-or-treater. Is he taller than most? Probably. Though at 5’6″, he’s maybe not as tall as your post would have the good folks of our town thinking. 

What I didn’t mention on our town’s page is the fact that my son is autistic. While he is chronologically 17, he is far more sweet and innocent than most other 17-year-old boys. He has no friends to trick-or-treat with, as he has a lot of trouble with social situations. Halloween, with the protection of a costume, is a day that’s easier for him to get out and talk to people. So one of us (his parents) takes him around. He enjoys it, and it makes him happy. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

I could go on about thinking before you post on social media. About responsibility as an adult and community member. About how you don’t know him, or me, or our family. About judging from appearances. All of that is all fine and good. But maybe you just posted what others were also thinking. And I feel like I can teach you (and anyone else who might be thinking the same things) something more big-picture. 

I saw much on the Internet this year about the Teal Pumpkin Project, which is about providing allergy-safe treats for kids with food allergies. I think it’s a fine idea. There is no pumpkin for my boy, though. So to my friends, neighbors and the woman who found my son scary, next year (because he will trick-or-treat again if he wants to) – if a taller-than-normal trick-or-treater comes to your door alone, don’t be afraid. He’s actually one of the sweetest, kindest, not-a-mean-bone-in-his-body people you could ever hope to meet. You are lucky to have crossed paths with him.

The Mighty is asking the following: Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability and/or disease. If you’d like to participate, please send a blog post to [email protected] Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. Check out our Share Your Story page for more about our submission guidelines.

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Autism Spectrum Disorder

I Made a Video to Show What It’s Like to Have a Brother With Autism

This is a short video I made about what it’s like for me to have an older brother with autism. I hope you enjoy it and see how blessed I am to have Mitchel as my brother. I love him to death, and I want everyone to see how awesome our bond is. Below is an [...]

When the Most Beautiful Woman on the Beach Was a Special Needs Mom

The weather app on my phone clearly stated it was going to be cold and windy at the beach that day, but I was sitting on my sweatshirt and rolling up my yoga pants to keep from dying of heatstroke. A group of college girls walked by in bikinis. I rolled my pants back down, consoling myself on [...]

16 Cures for Autism That Without a Doubt Work

For some reason, many family members, friends and even complete strangers seem to have strong opinions about the causes and best “treatments” for autism. And many of those same people are not shy about sharing their advice with every autism parent they meet. The Mighty asked our readers for some of the most ridiculous “cures” or [...]

To the JetBlue Flight Attendant Who Acted Quickly as My Son Melted Down

In May 2015, a mother on a United Airlines flight asked a flight attendant if she could purchase a hot meal from first class because her autistic daughter is particular about her food. Though reluctant at first, the flight attendant secured a hot meal after being warned that the autistic girl, who was beginning to cry, [...]