To the Mom Trying to Accept That Your Baby Will Be Tube-Fed Instead of Breast-Fed


Fed is best, although it sometimes takes a long time for a mom to accept this. Because it might feel natural to breastfeed and you want to breastfeed, but then when that doesn’t work and you’ve cried over it countless times, you accept that bottle feeding may be the way. You’ve got to go to help your kid grow. Then when that doesn’t work and you’ve gone through the same process of grief and despair, you accept that perhaps having a tube is the way your baby needs to get nutrition to grow big and strong. Not many people end up at this stage, though it can feel like a huge part of hospital life.

But when you do get to this stage, and you’ve been through the previous two, for some reason you keep going back to them. There’s something inside you that says you’re “lazy” and “haven’t tried hard enough.”

Sometimes you need an external voice of reason. To say, stop. Is he growing? Is he developing? Is he happy otherwise?

Yes.

Then at the moment, that’s all that is important.

Let them smile, play and reach for things, and roll, and start to giggle. Let them grow, grow, grow. And with growth comes strength, and with strength comes learning, and with learning comes feeding. Hopefully.

And I guess in the grand scheme of things, hope is all we can do.

We may grieve for the feeding we missed out on, feeling like it’s at the core of motherhood. So cry about it, moms, with chocolate beside you. Then go and turn the pump on and get that kid up a centile.

Breast-fed, bottle-fed, tube-fed? Fed.

baby's feet


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Other

This Teen Turned Her Medical Brace Into Fantastical Costume Armor

One teen transformed her medical back brace into an awesome piece of fantasy armor. Maddie Cable, 17, from Charlotte, North Carolina, was in a car accident with her mother, Linda, in late November, BuzzFeed reported. Their car hydroplaned and in the crash Maddie fractured to her T12 vertebra. Doctors stabilized it with rods and pins and [...]

The Truth About My Child’s Meltdowns

There’s a secret world within the world of parenting a child with special needs, a world only some of us parents are privy to. It’s difficult to write about. His face turned red. He screamed, his body tensed. He quickly lifted his leg, dropping it on my leg over and over. I don’t leave his side. [...]

The Connections We Make as Parents of Children With Chronic Illness

I had a discussion with a wise, dear friend recently about loneliness. She says sensitive individuals can feel alone even when surrounded by friends. We are each alone in our experiences. We can be living through the same joyful or traumatic events, but how we process and feel these events is ultimately our own. My [...]

The Apology I Owe the Parent of the Child Screaming in the Supermarket

Dear parent, please forgive me? I am trying to think what I need to buy for dinner tonight. I don’t need to hear your child screaming in my ear and shouting at you. Is the supermarket really the place to bring your child when they are like that? Dear parent of that child: I am sorry I [...]