The Questions I Have for Depression

Depression, I actually don’t want to speak to you today, but I will.

You think you can live rent-free in my head, and at times maybe you do. But I’m fighting and retaliating against you the best I possibly can.

I wish you could speak back to me because you have a lot to answer for, not just to me but to millions of other people, too.

Why follow me around like a shadow, get into my head and consume all of my thoughts? You very selfishly try to drag me down, but why? Why? Why? Why? 

Can’t you leave me alone at some point and stop telling me to do things to myself when I’m at my lowest? As the saying goes; Why kick a dog when it’s down? At some point I’m going to ignore you, so I don’t know why you don’t just go away and never come back. Damn you.

When I innocently go about my day like when I’m washing up, writing, going to the gym, driving, on the phone or even socializing with friends, you are all over me like a rash. You want all of, and not just part of me. How greedy can you get? You’re a nightmare come true. You’re torturous and I hate you because I’ve missed days if not weeks because of you.

You don’t just burden me, you burden other people too. But why? Why do you want to give us so much grief, laden us with so much worry and upset that I once wanted to take my own life many years ago? You will never drag me down that far again.

I am asked what my definition of depression is. I can explain a little, but I don’t have a week to talk about you. You’re so diverse, affect people in different ways, but mainly, you aren’t worth the time.

Depression, I don’t choose to wear you around my neck like a piece of jewelry. You can live on the dark side of the moon. I am battling against you as best as I can, and I will win the battle and the war.

In fact, I’ve been winning for a while.

If you or someone you know needs help, see our suicide prevention resources.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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