A Love Letter to Anyone Living With Depression
To the boy/girl living with depression:
I know living life every day is tough. I won’t ever try to take that away from you or convince you otherwise. But what I will tell you is that you’re strong enough to get through those tough days. If you don’t feel you can do it on your own, reach out to someone close to you, or a counselor — know it’s not weak to ask for help, as most people aren’t strong enough to admit they need it.
You’re going to have your dark days. There will be days when your covers seem impossible to come out of, as if the weight of the world is keeping you pinned under them — it’s OK to have those days. There will be the days when you feel literally nothing at all and you wonder if you’re even still alive. You are. There will be days when you walk around feeling like a shell or a ghost, and people just look right through you, and you wonder if anyone will ever really see you. Someone will. When you have those days when you are deep in despair and you can’t place a reason or quite figure out why… stop. There may not be a reason.
Depression doesn’t come from logic or lack thereof and you certainly can’t will yourself out of it. For all the days you’re drowning under the weight of your symptoms and you feel you can’t escape — those days are just as true as the ones that will also come… where the color is painted back into your world; when you smile without trying and remember what it feels like to actually enjoy something. You will have days when your feet hit the hard cold floor, and it didn’t take every last bit of will and effort to do so. There will be days when your worth is blatantly apparent to you, and your doubts are little more than whispers in the back of your mind. You will have days when you find someone or something you connect with and you remember what it’s like to be understood. These days may seem fewer, and the dark seems more pervasive, but these good days are just as real as the dark ones. When it seems impossible you’ll ever feel a good day again, read this. Know it will come, and do what you have to do to get back to these bright days. It’s OK to feel the darkness and the abyss, as it’s real. It’s damn sure OK to feel the days that color your world, turning it back into something beautiful and full of possibility.
Where others see depression, despair, hopelessness and sadness, I see resilience, strength and beauty.
Hold on.
Alexandra is a 26-year-old social work student. She has bipolar II and generalized anxiety, and is passionate about breaking the stigma against mental illness. Spending over 10 years of silence regarding her mental illness has left her with a lot to say, and she’s finally ready.
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