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To the Mums With Empty Arms on Mother's Day

It was Mother’s Day 2015, and I was so excited. I was 21 weeks pregnant, and my dream life was ahead of me: mum to identical twin boys. My best friend sent me a beautiful Mother’s Day card because she knew I already felt like a mother, growing and protecting these rascals inside me.

It’s Mother’s Day 2016, and the world is a completely different place. I’m a mother. I know I am. I gave birth, I held our beautiful boys in my arms, but one is gone, and so a day that should feel warm and special feels cold and empty.

mom with baby in nicu

There are far too many mums who will be going through this; it’s a completely and utterly heartbreakingly unfair. Just in my circle of friends I know three other incredible women who will have empty arms this Sunday.

So to every mum out there who is wondering desperately how we can skip Sunday altogether, I see you.

And if I could hold you all in my arms I would.

I would make you breakfast in bed, with a little jar of handpicked flowers on the tray. I would buy you one if those “world’s best mum” trophies from the dollar store. I would give you the biggest box of chocolates I could possibly find. I would write you a card and fill the envelope with little glittery stars. Because these are the things your child would do for you, and just because they aren’t here doesn’t mean you don’t deserve them.

You deserve it all and so much more.

For not only having empty arms on Mother’s Day, but for having to live with those empty arms every day and every night for the rest of your life. For watching your friends and family celebrate all their mothers and motherhood, with a smile on your face. For getting up out of bed in the morning. For showering and smiling and laughing and talking. For loving and protecting. For all of the times you want to rage at the world and disappear under the surface, but you don’t.

You deserve to be thanked for that. You deserve to be held up high and spoiled and cared for. Because you are a mother. And you did everything in your power for your child. And although they are not warm in your arms this Sunday, they are warm in your heart and in your memory.

Take this day for you; however you do it is the right way. But don’t for one second think you don’t deserve to be thanked on Mother’s Day. This is your day. Own it.