When people hear I am on the autism spectrum, a lot of them expect me to be socially withdrawn. After they connect with me further, they tell me my social skills are amazing.
But being a social butterfly as someone on the autism spectrum isn’t nearly as easy for me as it looks. I have a strong desire to be around others. Yet if I spend too much time with people, I get to a point where I’m so exhausted from constantly thinking about my social skills that I can’t function. And if there are too many people (three is a crowd for me), I will get overwhelmed.
It’s also difficult when I slip up and don’t realize I’ve been rude. People either need to tell me I’ve been rude (and I’ll feel bad about it, but at least I can apologize), or they will get upset with me and not say a word, and I’ll figure it out weeks, months or even years later.
I love to talk with people. But unless I know someone very well, I avoid using the phone to speak with them. I can’t see them, so the few skills I have in reading facial expressions are useless. I definitely struggle with hearing differences in tone of voice or recognizing what they mean. And sometimes, I can’t understand or process what the person has said fast enough to respond. In fact, I have found that if I’m going to speak on the phone with someone, I usually need to write out a script for myself. Overall, it’s much easier for me to text, chat or email. This way, I have more time to process what has been said and think of how to respond.
It’s taken a lot of time and energy to understand social skills. It’s not always easy for me to be around others as someone on the autism spectrum. It’s certainly frustrating at times. And yet, I’m a total social butterfly. There’s no doubt about that!
Imagine someone Googling how to help you cope with your (or a loved one’s) diagnosis. Write the article you’d want them to find. If you’d like to participate, please check out our Submit a Story page for more about our submission guidelines.
Lead photo source: Thinkstock Images