If I was well for just one week, I would get up each morning and tidy around the house. I would take a quick shower and get changed into some nice clothes.
If I was well for just one week, I would make breakfast for the family. Get my daughter ready for school, brush her hair and put them in pig tales.
If I was well for just one week, I would walk my child to school each day and collect her at the door when the school day ended.
If I was well for just one week, I would gather all the junk in my home and take it to the secondhand market. If I was well for just one week, I would go swimming and walk the dogs for exercise.
If I was well for just one week, I would go on a trip to the beach and spend the day in the sand walking the promenade, taking my child on rides and visiting the shops.
If I was well for just one week, I would go on an evening date with my husband and have fun — the kind of dates we had before I was diagnosed with adrenal insufficiency.
If I was well for just one week, I would cook my favorite meals in the evening, make gorgeous salads and even do the dishes after tea.
If I was well for a week, I would have the strength to give my daughter a shower, do story time and hang out for an hour talking about anything and everything.
If I was well for a week, I would not have to go to appointments, have blood tests and use all my energy visiting specialists.
If I were well for a week, I would feel more in control. I would feel more understood and more able.
But I’m not well, not even for one week and the simple daily tasks exhaust me. Many I cannot do. I have to pick and choose. I have to accept help. I can’t be the mother I want to be. I can’t shower, tidy, cook or clean without feeling wiped out for days. I can’t go out without being wiped out for weeks.
I am not well. I have adrenal insufficiency which brings with it chronic fatigue, and this is my life.
I’d love to feel well just for one week or even one day.
When someone sees me out and about I’ve often had many days resting beforehand and will have many days resting after. People will say, “It’s great to see you looking so well.” Sadly I am not well. I am not better just because I am trying to have a moment of normalcy. I am simply trying to life with a condition which for now will never go away.
Follow this journey on Days in Bed.
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