What's Happening Inside My Head on a Bad Day With Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia is a medical condition associated with fatigue and sleep, memory and mood issues. According to The Mayo Clinic, fibromyalgia “amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.” Some days are better than others, and on the bad days, the fatigue, sleep issues, memory problems and mood symptoms can make you feel horrible.
Here’s what goes on in my head on the bad days:
I need to get out of bed…
It feels impossible to move, how can I make it through the day?
Why am I so tired?
I’m so lazy. The house is a mess and I’ve done nothing.
I can’t do it.
I’m a horrible mother. Why can’t I enjoy playing with my kids?
Lunch? Oh God, I have to make lunch!
Maybe there’s something quick I can make.
Get up! Get up! I feel like I need a crowbar to pry myself off of the couch.
Where did I leave my keys?
Well, I got the kids to the pool. Do I have to swim?
I’m so cold. Why am I so cold?
Where did I leave my phone?
Oh my God! I can’t find anything!
What was it I needed to do today?
Maybe we can just watch TV today.
I have work to do. I’ll do it later…
Where did I leave my phone again?
Don’t touch me. Please don’t touch me.
OK, I can do this. I will just clean up one room at a time.
Why am I crying again? What’s wrong with me?
Dishes. The dishes need to be cleaned.
Do I have to make dinner? Maybe we can order a pizza.
I want to go back to bed.
Where did I put my glasses?
Thank God it’s bedtime!
My husband is snoring and I still can’t sleep.
I was so tired today. Why am I still awake?
While most people don’t understand my fibromyalgia because they can’t see anything physically wrong with me, it still wipes me out most days — on the bad days, it’s even worse. I am thankful for the days I have just a little bit of energy and can get things done without feeling like I’m trudging through a mud pit all day. Yes, fibromyalgia can make you feel like a sloth sometimes, but there are strategies to prevent or get through the rough days. To everyone else who struggles with fibro, I literally feel your pain. You are not alone.