To the Girl Sitting on the Ledge
To the girl sitting on the ledge,
I know what you’re thinking. I know what you’re planning. It breaks my heart that you’re going through all this right now. It’s not fair, and I wish I could take all the hurt away. But I can’t. Here are some things I wish you would know.
It’s OK to go back home.
I know right now you feel like there’s no place for you to go. Like no one wants you and you’re all on your own. No one banished you. You’re allowed to go back home.
It’s OK to ask for help.
You’re so strong. You’re a fighter. Don’t give up now. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve lost the fight. It means you’re strong enough to know what it takes to win.
It’s OK to ask for forgiveness.
I know right now all you want to do is call someone and ask them to come get you. I also know that you don’t think they’d come. But let me tell you, keeping your pride is not worth throwing it all away. It’s OK to call and say sorry. They love you. They’ll be there.
It’s OK to forgive yourself.
There’s so much hurt in your life right now, and I know you feel like it is all your fault. But what if I told you that in just 48 hours, a doctor is going to get down on her knees to get to eye level, stare you in the eyes and tell you “It is not your fault.” You don’t have to beat yourself up anymore.
Quitting doesn’t make you a failure.
You’re feeling like you need a break. The thought of school is too overwhelming right now. I get it. Putting your life on pause for a few months to find the help you oh-so-desperately need is allowed. Quitting school doesn’t make you a failure. You don’t have to be done forever. Just postpone it until the next semester.
Boundaries are a good thing.
There are people in your life right now who are taking advantage of you. You feel like you can never please them all. Let me tell you a secret. You can’t. So let them go. Some won’t be a part of your life anymore and that’s OK, you don’t need them. Some will only have small access to your life and that’s OK too. You don’t owe them anything. Protecting yourself is the number one most important job you have in your journey of self-care. Boundaries are a huge part of that.
Don’t give up.
Giving up seems like the only option right now. I know it’s hard. I know you don’t feel like fighting anymore. But please, call someone and ask for help. Whatever you do, don’t give up.
Yourself… two years later.
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