10 Reasons I Am Grateful for My Partner When It Comes to My Illnesses
We all have a reason to get up in the morning, but when it comes to chronic illnesses, sometimes the reason for getting up is to simply prove to yourself that you can do it. Even then, we each have our own motivations or motivators to help us get through it, and today I thought I’d talk about mine.
My wonderful partner is the main reason I power through each day. He keeps me going when I don’t see a reason to.
I moved to my town almost 10 years ago at the age of 12. I started at a new school, and on my very first day, I met Sam. He became my best friend instantaneously, and eventually he became my boyfriend and my partner. He has been there for me throughout my whole ordeal with my illness and diagnoses, seen it for himself and lived it with me. And for that, I couldn’t be more grateful.
I often express my love for him, but I feel like it isn’t enough. I still don’t feel like he understands just how much he means to me and just how much I treasure everything he does for me. Which brings me to this very moment. There is an infinite amount of things I am grateful for, of course, but I’m going to try to limit myself to just 10. So here it goes:
1. Putting up with my mood swings and attitude when I’m in pain.
From being happy one minute to breaking down the next, you always seem to know just what to do to handle me at my best and worst. You never falter in your support and understanding of my condition.
2. Physically supporting me when my body gives up.
When my body seems to be broken, you’re my crutch, my pick-me-up (quite literally), my protector and savior. I know you always say you don’t mind supporting me, but I know it’s not always easy so thank you.
3. Supporting and covering for me when I get embarrassed.
When my condition takes over and plans with others have to be changed or strangers make passing comments or glare, you always handle the situation most beautifully and take away all my fears and pressures of pleasing others. You take the blame when there is none to take and make me feel less awkward.
4. Understanding when I need space to be alone or to just be in silence.
When I just need to be left alone, I can get quite rude about it, but you don’t mind. You just sit there pleasantly, waiting for me to signal that I am ready to stop being a grumpy old troll. You don’t know how much this actually helps pull me around — just showing me that you understand.
5. Your perfectly timed comforting skills, whether by talking, listening, cuddling or bringing me a cup or tea.
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. You just seem to know what I need and when, as if by magic. This means a great deal to me, and I’m sorry I don’t do more for you.
6. Going out of your way to make life a little bit easier for me.
Bringing things to me or organizing things so I can benefit from them — you just always seem to have me in mind.
7. When I ask more of you than I should, but you act like it’s nothing.
I depend on you a lot during some difficult moments in life, and you don’t bat an eyelid at me. Not when I ask for help getting dressed or undressed, not when I get stuck in the bath or, most embarrassingly for me, when I need your help just to get to the bathroom. You do not falter.
8. Making me feel more myself, especially on days I don’t recognize my own reflection.
You remind me this illness doesn’t control me and that I am still me. You bring me back from the edge and help me gain my control back.
9. Sticking by me throughout this whole experience, even when I push you away.
When I get upset and push you away, you know that it’s all fueled by anger and pain from within and the words are false. When I try to hurt you because I want you to feel my pain too, you understand this and accept that I am hurting. You stick by me, even when I cannot forgive myself for the things I have said to you.
10. All in all, just loving me and choosing me to be in your life.
Of all the people you could have fallen in love with, you chose me and continue to do so even after all the pain. I cannot be more grateful.
Sam, since the first day I met you, I knew we were destined to be friends forever. It’s a dream come true that this turned into more than friendship. I have loved growing with you from our childish ways, through to our awkward teens and into adulthood. I can only hope to continue this as we grow older.
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