Grieving a Death When You Have Depression
When a family member dies, many struggle to keep their lives together. For some, everything is put on hold until after funeral arrangements are made and all the debt is payed off. Others insist that life must go on. Everyone grieves differently. What is it like to grieve when you have depression?
I experience major depression, and the recent death of my Nana (who died from non-alcoholic liver cirrhosis on September 16, 2016) has caused a reemergence of some of my symptoms. It also made other symptoms disappear. Grief is hard for everyone, but grieving when you have depression can be amazingly difficult.
Loss of my Nana made me realize how precious life is, and how precious even my life is. With my depression, I have experienced thoughts of suicide. Now, after seeing the pain left behind by my Nana’s death, I see that my own death would leave such a mark. It would cause such pain, and I could not allow myself to do that to my family. Other symptoms, like generalized anxiety and sadness, have risen from the depths of my soul to torment me yet again.
With time, I know I will come to terms with it, just like everyone else. For now, I just have to take it one step at a time. I understand that life is important. I also understand that we have very little time on this earth and need to make the best of it. I will do everything I can to help my family, just as they will help me. Together, we will survive.
Image via Thinkstock.