As I was finishing my workout today, I noticed a storm rolling in. I could see the lightning striking frequently only a few miles away, and I went outside to watch it for a bit. It made me forget why I was so worried and why I came to the gym in the first place. The gym had always been my sanctuary — a place to forget and let go of everything. But today, it wasn’t working. Today, I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t rid my mind of the plaguing doubts and fears. But for some reason, this storm did it. The rolling of the thunder calmed me, made me forget of my anxieties of the day.
There was peace within the powerful forces from the storm. There was peace within the raging winds and pouring rain. There was peace in the couplings of lightning and thunder. It was a peace I couldn’t explain as I watched after-work commuters race home, hoping to beat the incoming storm. I shook my head at their impatience and their lack of appreciation for the sheer beauty God created. I wondered what they were rushing for, who they had waiting on them, and why they were so eager to dismiss this
beautiful thing that had consumed me.
I couldn’t comprehend their rush, but I was suddenly overwhelmed again with the day’s pressures, problems, and anxieties. It made my heart pound harder and my throat get tighter. So I turned my
attention back to the storm and embraced it. I let it take over. I felt the thunder in my chest and the lightning in my veins. I let the storm empower me and calm me all at once.
And that’s when it hit me. My anxiety is like a storm. Sometimes you can see it coming from a mile away, and sometimes it comes out of nowhere. Sometimes it’s just a light rain, and other times it’s raging winds and hail. It can happen all day or strike only in the dark of night. My anxiety is like a storm.
Sometimes you embrace the storm; sometimes the storm embraces you.
Taylor is a 22-year-old searching for her path in life and striving to see each day as another opportunity to learn and grow. She was a Division 1 athlete in college. She has been a writer her entire life and hopes to bring understanding to mental illness through her writing, inspire others to take on their mental illness and grow from it and bring awareness to mental illness within athletics.
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