People Say Their Depression Comes in Episodes. Mine Comes in Waves.
Many people consider depressive states to be “episodes.” They say they had another “episode” of depression. To me, this description just doesn’t fit. Some people do experience depression in episodes, with definite stops and starts.
However, I experience depression in waves.
When I first started experiencing my depression, it came in slow, small waves. As the first tropical storm began to hit, I started experiencing more and more waves. The waves grew larger and larger, longer and longer and more torrential each time.
Finally, it turned into hurricane “Rose.” I experienced a long depressive state and feelings of hopelessness. I attempted to take my own life. This is when the hurricane hit the coast. My parents found out when the cops came.
They sent me to inpatient. To me, inpatient was the point in time when the storm had begun to slow. I began to receive treatment. As I recovered, it became the period of rebuilding.
My depression comes in waves, like the ocean. It can be small waves or full-blown hurricanes. It never stops. It is a part of my life, but I can take precautions to keep myself safe. I have flood insurance as a safety net (my support group). I have houses built upon stilts to prevent flood damage (my medicine). I have evacuation as a possibility (inpatient). My depression is an ocean, but I have the ability to cross it.
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