When You Have to Get Used to Not Having Energy

Waking up is exhausting — showering too (water is a pain in the ass). It’s exhausting to put my clothes on. From the moment I get out of bed, I feel tired, like I wont be able to finish my day.

Usually I try to go to school. The problem is, I just fall asleep in all my classes and I believe writing (which I’ve recently taken up again), carrying my schoolbag and traveling from classroom to classroom, just kills me. All day I feel terrible.

Imagine then returning to your house and having to do homework. If you have pain all the time, all you want to do when you arrive home is lie down on your bed and try to get some sleep. Sometimes, sadly, that’s just impossible. I can’t even close my eyes and be on the mattress because it’s painful. I don’t want to do my homework because my battery has been drained.

Weekends are not easy, either, because as I am trying to catch up my energy and then suddenly it’s Monday again. I never really have my energy and then when I recover it, I lose it in less that 10 seconds.

I just have to get used to living without energy.

I don’t know how I get through the day. I don’t know how I manage to do all my chores. I think my family and friends are the reason, even if they don’t know it. I try to hide my exhaustion and pain from them. I miss my energy, and I need it, but I have to get used to the fact that it is history now, and I have to find a new way to finish my day without feeling like I do.

I am looking for it, and I hope to find it soon. I’ll try to stay positive, and go on. Because my life has just started, and I won’t let it finish before it gets good. My life is still ahead of me.

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