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When Friends Left Because I Was Too Sick to Be the ‘Party Girl'


Five years ago, my journey with health issues started. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. I took the meds, I learned to adjust, and I decided my social and personal life would not change because of this disease. I still was the party girl. I drank a lot. I did things to my body a normal body couldn’t handle, much less a very sick one. I lived the life I wanted to. Then my body said, “No, this isn’t going to work any longer!”

And just like that, I was diagnosed with the ultra rare disease of atypical hemolytic uremic syndrome (aHUS). This put a major tail spin in my “living the party life.” I quit drinking. I stopped going out. I was simply too sick to do anything outside of work and try to give my husband the marriage we had promised each other.

Because of this, I lost many, many friends. Friends I thought would always be there for me.

It was heartbreaking.

When I needed friends the most, they were too busy partying to come hang out with me. They slowly stopped answering my calls, texts, emails, etc. It’s so hard to go through these trials without friends you can lean on.

I’m not sure why they ran.

Was it that I couldn’t party anymore? Was it that I was exhausted all the time?

Then my thoughts turned. If we were truly friends, why didn’t they come visit me at home? Or sit with me at an IV infusion? Or simply call, text, reach out to check on me?

This has been a hard lesson in learning who I can trust.

However, out of the blue, people I never expected to be there have turned up. Some of these people are now really great friends. They will do whatever they can to help. 

So, while it’s very sad to lose friends, I have also learned who I can turn to. Who I can trust. I reached out to others like myself, and have found what I truly needed in a friendship.

Don’t give up. Reach out to others with your condition. Put yourself out there and make the friends you deserve.