When Depression Makes It Hard to Feel


What is invisible and steals your joy? Depression. It simply sucks the life out of you. You can be surrounded with those you love. You know you love them, you know you love spending time with them, but you’re simply numb.

You can be surrounded with things you love, but you’re just there, struggling. You would rather be in bed asleep so you do’t have to deal with this misery.

No matter what’s going on, you are numb to it. There is no joy in anything. You fake happiness, sure. Others may not know the misery you’re in. You become an actor so no one knows the truth. How it would hurt those you love for them to know that numbness is the only thing you feel.

You know logically this is not the way things are, but logic has no place in depression. You can say honestly you know you are blessed to have those who love you and the life you lead, but it’s not what you feel. You feel empty inside. You don’t enjoy anything anymore.

It can come in waves. You may feel good for a while, but it comes back. You hold onto the thought that this too will pass. But it’s hard, so very hard to hold out hope. When you feel nothing but misery, it’s hard to tell yourself that you are loved. It’s hard to feel blessed. It’s just hard to feel.

You know you’re not alone, but that’s how you feel. Just don’t give up hope. You are loved! You will be healthy again some day. Don’t give up.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Photo by Goldfinch4ever


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Depression

drawing of a woman sitting in bed at night

My 'Lack of Motivation' Doesn't Mean I'm Being Lazy

Motivation. I hate that word. Some people think that a lack of motivation is when you miss a gym session one week because you fancied a movie night instead. And it may be for some people. But when people with depression say they have no motivation, they mean it. Literally. I have jobs to do [...]

Why I Hid My Depression for Years

I’ve read posts about smiling depression and realized that was me. I hid behind smiles, goofy humor and jokes. No one could ever tell I frequently experienced suicidal ideation. No one could tell I had severe mood issues and chronic pain. And no one could tell I was not coping well with the pain. In [...]
drawing of a monster

Drawing the Monsters That Sleep Inside of Me

As a kid, I grew up dealing with anxiety, depression, chronic pain, an eating disorder and issues with gender identity and sexual orientation. How did I get through it? Monsters. When it first started, the monsters I created were a direct reflection of the pain I was in. I painted skulls, skeletons and monsters with [...]
woman sitting on couch looking at the ceiling

What We Don't Talk About Enough When It Comes to Caring for Loved Ones

For six years I have cared for my son and his multiple medical, educational and other special needs. My days revolved around timing this medication, watching that monitor, or attempting to get his spastic limbs to stretch out a little further. Throw three more children into the mix, and there are days when I take literally no [...]